The Past Decade

There's less than 2 weeks before I officially enter a new decade. Facebook memories have been reminding me of my previous posts from a decade ago, when I then also entered a new decade.

Back then, I wanted a big celebration; and thanks to the best sister in the world, I got a week-long celebration. It started off with me dyeing my hair copper/red; then family slowly started to arrive, and everything culminated in a party with family and friends. I woke up to my first hang over, puking twice...but it was a good week.

After all the festivities, I then came up with a bucket list of things to do in the next ten years. Almost halfway through the decade, I had almost completed my list with certain additions/amendments made to the list.

And so, as the days heads towards my birthday, here is the update on my 'Bucket List For The Next Ten Years'':

1) Travel! To Cambodia, Philippines, Bali, India - I did not get to travel to the countries listed (although I came close to going to Cambodia but Covid struck so...) but...I did go to Vietnam and Hong Kong.

2) Take my parents back to Hong Kong (does not count as travel) and visit the places where my parents started their married life in - this was a dream come true for my sister and I because we managed to fulfill this dream for both my parents and ourselves. It was our first overseas family trip in years; and to be able to bring them back to where it all started was just a blessing. 

3) Take a class - either pick up an instrument, learn a new language (Spanish, Mandarin, Hindi?), learn how to swim or take up a sport's class (like yoga or pilates)  - well, I started taking piano lessons which lasted for a year, but something else (something bigger and more important) took precedence, so I decided to put my lessons on hold. 

4) Exercise! - Um well....I did start exercising especially when I was so into those fun runs/walks. I used to go jogging/walking to build my stamina for those 5km, 7km runs/walks. Alas, once Covid hit, joining those runs/walks stopped and so did my exercise. 

5) Improve my Tagalog. Balut! - Instead of improving my Tagalog, what I did was be brave and tried balut! And...it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be!

6) Wear a dress (and a saree does not count) - I wore a dress numerous times much to my discomfort. Once was a cheongsam for a CNY do at work; and the other was when I was a maid of honour at my cousin's wedding. Wearing that red lace dress (may have) led to the 'something bigger and more important' that I mentioned above. I also wore dresses for two other weddings.

7) Go out and socialise more!! Make new friends!!  - Now this was the hardest to do and I am not very sure I actually fulfilled this. But...I did go out and I do have new friends, so I'm claiming that it's done. 

8) Get a new car! - After more than 10 years with my Kancil, I finally got myself a new car! 

The list above was what I had planned to achieve in 10 years. But I did a couple of more things as well such as, para-sailing and getting on a banana boat ride. But I think the one that takes the cake above all is....I got a boyfriend, I got engaged....and I got married! 

Yes, while I know that getting a boyfriend, getting engaged and getting married should not be on someone's bucket list, it's still a huge event that changed my life forever. And it happened in the decade where I decided that I needed some change. 

With less than 2 weeks to go, I have been thinking about what I want to do for my birthday. I have applied for leave (which I always do anyway); but I really do not know what I want to do. I don't want the big party that I had 10 years ago; but I do want to spend time with my family. My sister and husband may have something planned (I am still not sure lol) but I guess I'll find out soon enough. 

Till my next entry in my new decade....ciao! 

One Year

*Late entry*

December 17th 2023 

Exactly one year ago, Ben and I took our vows and promised before God and our loved ones, that we will always "have and to hold", 'in sickness and in health"....."till death do us part".

One year.....I know that people always say that time flies; but I have to repeat that time indeed FLEW!

It has been a year of adapting, compromising, tolerating, learning and adjusting. It has not been easy at times but we persevered and learned. We started as two individuals, one who has been living on his own for more than 10 years; and me who have not lived without my family for more than 3 months. 

Agreeing to who sleeps on which side of the bed is still an ongoing argument. Me leaving the dish wash sponge in the soap dish; he leaving his t-shirts and shorts on the dining table chair. Of course these are all small and petty stuff that every married couple faces but I am thankful for these. For it is through these that I learn a bit more about my husband every day and I hope vice versa!

Yes there are days when we don't agree on stuff and we pull long faces but we talk it out, listen to each other and come through to the other side of the disagreement together. We acknowledge that we are different individuals with differing opinions but we always try to come to a compromise. It's not easy because we are both stubborn but we manage.

We did not have a big first year anniversary celebration. But we did enjoy a spa massage courtesy of the bestest sister in the world; and then we went back to the place where we had our second date for dinner. It was low key but relaxing. Perhaps I should broach the idea of having a big anniversary celebration every 5 years. That way we will have time to save and plan.

It's been a year and yet, I keep re-watching the videos of I have of my wedding. I sometimes even get teary eyed and find myself smiling to myself like an idiot. It's like traveling back in time, experiencing it all over again. Yes, it's cheesy but hey....it's my wedding and we only get to do it once. And no matter what others say, I think my wedding was the BEST celebration of a union of a couple and of two families. 

And so.....as one year passes and another year begins, I look forward to more memories, more love, more laughter, more smiles.....more of everything.....

6 months into 2023

Half of 2023 have passed. Every year, time just seem to pass even faster than the year before. So, what has happened in the first 6 months of this year?

I started the year as a married woman! After a long holiday in December, it was back to work but with a new title and slightly shorter hair.

February was my parents’ birthdays and my sis and I decided to spoil my parents. We got them each a Tab so that they can watch their videos, YouTube, Netflix etc in comfort. I also got a new niece and nephew.

Ben and I celebrated 5 years of being together in March. And in April, we celebrated our 1^st ROM Anniversary. Where did time go? We’ve been registered a year already?!

April was also a sad month. One of my dad’s elder brother passed away; and just one week later, my dad’s favourite and beloved grand-aunt passed away too. Going to the crematorium two weeks in a row, sending off two loved ones…..it makes one think….how in the blink of an eye, everything can just change.

I don’t really remember what happened in May. But my favourite month of June came around and I celebrated my final year in this decade!! That’s 29+10! Lol! A week after my birthday, my father-in-law became a grandfather for the first time when my brother-in-law had his first kid - a daughter. Oh....I also cut my hair short.....not boy-cut short but short enough for people to actually be surprised. I think it's a nice change although when I look at old pictures, I miss my long hair. 

And just like that, 6 months of 2023 have passed. I wonder what the next 6 months hold for me. I hope I get what I am searching for.

I pray every day that my loved ones are continuously blessed with long lives, good health, wealth and love. I look forward to positive change and good news in the next 6 months.

My 2022

I started the year as an engaged woman. And I am now ending the year married. As I have previously mentioned in my other entries this year, I wanted to start wedding planning as soon as possible but this was not to be as we faced obstacles after obstacles. Anyhow, here's a run down of what went on this year in my life....I'll skip the monthly updates that I usually do for my year end postings, and only focus on certain months that I want to keep in memory.

March saw Ben and I celebrating being 4 years together; it was also 4 months since we got engaged, and one month to us getting registered.

April will now not only be the month my parents celebrate their wedding anniversary, it will also be the month that Ben and I celebrate our registration anniversary. April 15th this year was Good Friday, and for both our families, it was indeed a very good Friday. 

May saw Ben and I finally attending and finishing the Catholic Evening for the Engaged Course, which is a compulsory 3-day course for couples intending to get married in church. It was at times boring but there were times when certain sessions made me think of how I can change and be better.

I celebrated turning 29+9 in June and we finally got a date for our church wedding after weeks of follow up. Wedding planning went on full gears.

So to everyone who knows me, they know that I am NOT a dress person. I do not wear dresses or skirts. So naturally for my wedding, I wanted to wear pants, much to my mum's and sister's chagrin!! To every bridal house we went, I asked if they had any bridal pantsuit. One bridal house did indeed have one, but when I tried it on...even I went EWWW....

After scouting 3 bridal houses, I finally found THE dress with a looooong train. I never thought that I would wear such a dress let alone with such a long train. But I did and I do not regret it. 

October saw my dad's whole family reunite for Deepavali. After 2 years of Covid, the whole gang was back and it was such a good feeling. Aunties, uncles, cousins, nephew, nieces....all in one house celebrating each other, love and family.

But October also saw me, my sister and mum getting involved in a 3-car accident on the highway, back from KL. It was raining and the brakes of the car behind us were not working properly. We got sandwiched between two cars and my babes (my car) got injured. Thankfully, none of us suffered any serious injuries, though my sister cut her lip, had swollen gums and three teeth shook. :-( 

Despite all that happened, wedding planning was in full throttle come November. By then, we had our bridal outfits ready, pre-wedding photographs taken, hotel and band booked....the stage was set for the last wedding in the year for both families.

Ben and I both started our long leave 3 days before our wedding day. Emotions were high, stress was at the highest it could be....nerves were tingling....I was to be a December bride! 

And finally....the day arrived. 17 December 2022. The started early and ended late. As expected. The morning service just breezed by and I can honestly say it went faster than expected. I remember more of what happened at the dinner reception than what happened in the morning. But thank God for photos and videos! 

After the wedding high and coming back from our holiday, a sudden thought of this one friend came to mind. So I went to his Facebook profile only to find out that he had passed in August! He had died of cancer. To find out such news was painful. For as long as I knew him, there was only he and his mother. I then wondered how his mother was coping? After messaging a friend of his, I found out that his mother also sadly passed away a few weeks ago. And that to of cancer. Sighs....

Such is life. As I was busy planning my wedding, celebrating entering a new phase of my life, on the other side, a friend lost of his life. Life is a circle. Where there is life, there is also death.

With less than 8 hours before we usher in the New Year, let us thank God for all the blessings that have been showered onto us and let us appreciate each day as it comes. May we all be continually blessed with good health, wealth, success and love.

Countdown: 28 days to go

There's only 28 days to go before I walk down the aisle. 90% of things on my checklist are done; and yet, the remaining 10% still seems like a lot! So what has been done since my last entry in July? Here's the list:

> Bridal and Reception Outfit - DONE! This was really a concern but after much searching, I finally found two outfits that I love!

> Bridal Shoes - this was another problem. I wanted shoes in a particular colour; unfortunately, it is not a common colour. So, I thought, it's ok, I'll just make the shoes. But alas.....I was too late. The shoemaker was fully booked till CNY next year. But lady luck was probably shining on me, because I found a custom-made pair in the shop, which not only fit me but it was also in the colour I wanted!! So shoes - done!

>  Bridal Party - my bridal party were given freehand to choose their outfits with the request being that it was in the chosen colour. By September, the MOH and bridesmaids had their outfits ready. As for the guys, since their outfits are all being tailor-made, there were no issues there.

> Pre-Wedding Photos - so we decided on having unconventional pre-wedding photos. Since Ben doesn't want to see me in my bridal outfit before the church ceremony, we decided on having casual photos, and shots with our families all dressed in traditional wear. While it took quite a while for the photographer to send us the final edits, I must say, he did a really good job making us look good; and I simply LOVE LOVE LOVE the photos!!

> Alcohol - this was one of the things that was purchased early on. Hahaha! And the stock has been "staying" in my house for the past few months. We are still deciding on whether we want to add to the stock. Hehe!

> Florist - meeting up with the florist and discussing our decoration was also done fairly early. And with the florist being so accommodating, it was one stress off our shoulders.

> Photobooth - due to the wedding being in December, the florist unfortunately could not do the decoration for our photobooth outside the ballroom. But thankfully, one of my bridesmaids had a contact, and in no time, this was an issue that was settled too. We recently had our meet up and I am quite happy with the outcome. 

> Food Tasting - We just had our food tasting a couple of days ago and the food was good. So we're hopeful that our guests will enjoy the spread.

> Band - this was something that was stressful because I had a particular band that I wanted for the reception. From the beginning I had said that only that band is my choice. However, due to the wedding being in December so close to Christmas, and with the entertainment industry just starting to get back in motion, the band could not commit early. I went to see two other bands and was on the verge of hiring one, when the band I wanted agreed to perform!! So...YAY!!!!

> Emcee - so hiring an emcee was not really in our plans, and we figured we'd just ask some family members to host the night. But as time went by and we started drafting the programme, we realised that, while we may not need an emcee the whole night, certain parts of the programme will need someone. So I asked a friend and she graciously agreed to be the emcee, along with my sister (what would I do without her?). 

> Bridal Shower - yes! In the midst of all the planning, I still had my bridal shower! My girls really planned well, and even though one of my girls couldn't make it, her contribution to the shower was not lost. I had a really good and memorable time!

> Music - no, this is not for the reception but rather the church. My piano teacher has graciously agreed to play and sing during the service along with Ben's cousin. While uncle Francis, one of my dad's best friends and former bandmate has been re-arranging the music that will be played as I walk down the aisle. 

So the countdown continues....and as time flies, I hope I get everything done. There have been times though when I feel like I have been planning and making decisions on my own, and it stresses me out. But, a few people have told me earlier on that it's normal to feel this was and that they too went through the same thing. That's some sort of a relief. Haha...

I guess the next time I post an entry, the wedding will be over! So wish me luck! 

Hope for Change

 It's 19 November 2022. Less than 5 years since the country voted for change, we are once again, voting and fighting for change. Back in 2018, one could feel the optimism in the air. The positivity, the hope, the excitement. Those feelings were bubbling under the surface of every individual who voted for change. And in the wee hours of the following morning, change happened! We did it! It felt like someone had pressed Ctrl+A and delete. It was a clean slate.

Fast forward to 2022, I don't feel the same optimism nor excitement in the air. Instead, for weeks, I have been hearing doubts, concerns, worry. In 2018, people were confident and sure that change was going to happened. And it did! But this time, it feels like people are more cautious. While there is hope, there is somehow that lingering feeling of skepticism and doubt. Will we be able to do it again? Will we be able to bring change for a second time? 

My family and I did our parts. My friends did their parts. And now we wait....nervously, anxiously......hopefully.

"It doesn't matter how strong your opinions are. If you don't use your power for positive change, you are indeed part of the problem."

#GE152022 #GE15

Wedding Planning Mode

It's the 3rd of July. That makes it approximately 5 months to my wedding ceremony and reception.

After months of frustration just to get a date for the church ceremony, we have FINALLY secured and confirmed the date AND venue for both the ceremony and reception. To say that I felt frustrated, annoyed, irritated and disappointed these last few months would be an understatement. I felt all that and more...!! 

I knew that planning a wedding was difficult and stressful; but I didn't know that even to get a date was difficult. And the fact that setting the date was not in my control at all, made it all the more frustrating; especially when I had to rely on people. People who did not seem to see their mistake/fault, or the urgency of the matter. 

Fast forward pass all the negative feelings, and now, the official wedding planning has finally begun. While I initially had scouted for hotels, photographers, make-up artists etc, nothing could be confirmed because I didn't have a date set. And it only made matters worse when I kept being told that I was already late; I probably would have to postpone my wedding etc etc. 

Thankfully, not only did I have the support of my family and friends, but I had one person who continued to do the ground work for me so to speak. My sister aka maid of honour, is now also my wedding planner! She advised, sourced, pulled strings...basically she did (and is) pulling out all the stops! I owe her a HUGE thank you! 

For now....

> We've got the rings (since March). 

> We got legally registered (in April). 

> We completed the Church Marriage Course (Catholic Evening for the Engaged) which is a 6 day course that was crammed into 3 days. 

> We have a tailor for the groom's party. The bride's party is also on the go. 

> We have got a photographer (and videographer).

> We have the priest and church set.

> We have the hotel booked.

But....this is just the tip of the iceberg! There's so much to do in so little time. Pre-wedding photoshoot; bridal gown search; meet up with the florist/decorator; food tasting; find a band and emcee; send invites.....AHHHHH!

Most brides I know lose weight because of the stress of wedding planning. Unfortunately for me, I CAN'T afford to lose weight. In fact, I have been on a mission to GAIN weight but that is proving to be DIFFICULT, considering I have not only wedding planning stress, but also work stress to contend with.

At the rate it's going, I have a fear that no wedding gown will fit me and I will need to custom make one; but because of the time constraint, that may not be possible. And that will be an added stress! 

Perhaps I should have just listened to my mother and eloped! Sighs....