Hmmm...

It's the last day of May, which means that in 3 days' time, I'll be a year WISER. Yes...my birthday is just around the corner and as been tradition ever since I started working, I've applied for and been granted leave on my birthday. Since my day this year falls on a Tuesday, I decided to take Monday off as well, so as to enjoy a long weekend. Plus, since I've got to finish up 24 days of my annual leave before the end of the year, I can afford the two days.

The usual hoo-haa for every birthday here in Penang is that there will be an ushering in of the birthday at the shop as the clock strikes midnight. Then there will either be a BBQ or some sort of makan on the day itself.

This year however, nothing has been planned. The shop is closed on Monday so there will not be any ushering in of the birthday. I'm not exactly sure what is going to happen (IF anything is going to happen at all) as my sis is working on both days (sadly she's got an audit thing and can't take leave). Monday is Rest Day for mum and dad and Tuesday is a normal working day for them both.

People have been asking me about my big plans for the day, considering that I will be entering my final year of the 20s. I don't know whether it's PMS or something else, but somehow, I feel no excitement. I foresee a typical Monday and a normal Tuesday. Sad.

My sis told me yday that if I want to do something, I should take the initiative and do it; not complain about no plans being made. I agree with her completely. But at the same time, I really don't know what to do. I don't want to take away my parents' only off day of the week thus taking away the only day they can get a full day's rest; and neither do I want to have some sort of do at the shop on Tuesday coz I know the amount of work it entails. Furthermore, as I'll be returning to work on Wednesday, sis and I will leave the shop fairly early as usual.

Sighs...I sound like such a fussy pot. I'm going to blame it on AGING. If this is how I feel this year, I can only imagine how I'll be feeling next year, although I've been saying that I am looking forward to it.

Hmmm....

I am a MALAYSIAN

Malaysia has always been known to be culturally and racially diverse. With citizens of various races making up the 27 million population, it’s easy to see why Malaysia is a tourist attraction; culture, tradition, diversity all in one place.

I myself come from a family of mixed races. I have more than 5 different races in my family, with relatives from as far away as Europe.

Growing up, I learned totally different things at home, in school and in the real world. I was brought up to respect, love, tolerate and embrace our differences. In fact, I would like to think that I am colour blind (if you know what I mean).

But when I started school, I was immediately segregated. Not physically but in the many ways of how things were done. When I filled out forms, I remember having to mark the ‘race’ and ‘religion’ column. Even my teacher’s attendance book had the race and religion of each student. Does it really matter how many Indians and Chinese are in a school? Aren’t we all from the same country anyway?

This issue extended beyond the school gates. Being of mixed parentage (of which I am extremely proud of), people often ask me about my religion and race. I don’t mind the questions as it can sometimes be amusing, watching people guess which racial division I come from.

Nevertheless, I never thought twice about this matter until recently. I was at a workshop in Manila that was organized by a European organization. Needless to say, there were Europeans and Filipinos. Other participants came from Indonesia, Malaysia, Bangladesh, India etc. Now…I work in an international NGO and the majority of our partners are foreigners.  So it’s normal for me to be dealing with people from different countries. But I digress.

The point I want to make is this: it has been ingrained in me since primary school that I have to be identified as an Indian. All official documents and forms have this ‘race’ thing. I am so used to answering questions about my ethnicity that in Manila, when I was asked whether I was Indian, my immediately answer was YES.

Half an hour later and it dawned on me that I had made a mistake. My answer should have been: I am a MALAYSIAN. I’m only ethnically Indian; even that, I am a Hindu. Being an Indian would literally mean I am from India. But the moment had passed and as it was the last day of the workshop, I did not have the time to find the person and correct my mistake.

This happened about a month ago and it keeps haunting me. It keeps haunting me because I can’t help but think of how shallow my thinking is still. I don’t mean to segregate and identify myself as an Indian, but because as they say, practice makes perfect, I have perfected the art of justifying which race I come from.

After the Manila trip, I have consciously made the effort to identify myself as a Malaysian. It’s hard but I think it’s a necessary step towards achieving peace and the true spirit of 1Malaysia. There should be no more Chinese, Indians or Malays. It saddens me to see post-election reports using words such as ‘Chinese Tsunami’ and ‘Malay Wall’.

These Chinese and Malays are MALAYSIANS. No one race determines the country. It is the PEOPLE not the race of the people that makes a country. 

 

My stay in Berlin - How it changed me

Now that I have been back home for more than a month, it has finally sunk in that I was away for 2 months, in a foreign land (make that Europe for the first time!!); experienced winter (and snow) for the very first time; lived on bread, pasta, salad, meat (no seafood) and hardly any rice for two whole months; was independent (it’s a different kind of independence back home, if you know what I mean); met so many new people and in the process, made friends out of colleagues; experienced the German culture, tradition and life; and last but not least…I survived all that and came home intact!! In fact, I would say that I adapted well, coz, as people around me were getting sick because of the weather and whatever; I was as healthy as a horse! You would think that I would be the first one to get sick considering how unused I am to the cold and all.

Food

This was a funny adventure especially when it came to bread and cheeses. I never understood the labels and when I asked people, they found it hard to explain what is what to me. In the end, I just bought whatever I thought looked and would hopefully taste nice, and then I go home and discover that I was wrong! LOL! Happened numerous times especially with cheeses but I chalk it up to experience. :p Have had a LOT of coffee and cake too! Drank a lot of wine! Finished a whole bottle of wine by myself. Oh…not forgetting beer! I drank a lot of beer, wine, coffee, milk and hot chocolate during the two months. It was coffee and hot chocolate when I’m on my own; and beer and wine whenever I was out for dinner or drinks with colleagues.

History

I’ve seen, touched and left my mark at pieces of history that most of us only ever read in books or watch on TV! I mean, seriously, how many people can say that they’ve seen the Berlin Wall twice and have even written on it! Haha!

Public transport

I own and drive a car in Penang. In Berlin, I had to rely on public transport for my entire stay; a scary experience; I went everywhere with a map of the public transport network routes! It took me nearly 4 weeks before I learned how to read and interpret it, but even then, on my second last week, I got lost! Lol!

Work

The main reason I went to Berlin was for work. It was an exchange programme to learn how an international human rights organization works, while at the same time, share experiences of my work as my organization deals with the grassroots. I have to admit, after a month in Berlin, I still wasn’t sure what I had learned and what I would be bringing back. After speaking to Claudia and reflecting internally on what I had done the past 30 days, things soon started to fall in place. One thing that really helped put things in perspective was Robert Goldspink’s visit. I really started to understand what it is that I was in Berlin for and how and what I could bring back to my work in Penang. Things became clearer and exciting.

Motivation

One other thing that I learned while on my trip is that I should make full use of the time I have. I will be 29 this year, one year short of turning 30; and I wouldn’t want to be one of those people who say they have regrets for not doing so and so while they were in their 20s. Part of my weekends are always wasted as by the time I get up, it’s noon; then I dilly-dally till it’s time to go to the shop. Perhaps I can find or start a new hobby so that I don’t waste or wile away all those precious hours before I go to the shop. The Europeans really know how to enjoy their time off and they always have something to do or somewhere to go. And their Monday morning greetings are always, “How was your weekend?” J

Since coming back, some of my weekends have been full. One weekend that needs to be highlighted is the weekend my brother, his fiancée and a friend came up to Penang. This was the first time I watched my brother perform, and my oh my, was I the proud big sister! J

I’m still looking for something to take up or occupy my weekend. I’ve thought of going back to playing badminton or learn an instrument. I’m not sure. I’ve also been thinking that it’s time to start exercising. I’m not sure why but I feel as though I’m not fit.

8 weekends in Berlin

I had 8 weekends in Berlin and this is how I spent them:

1^st week: Did nothing. Adjusted to the weather and jetlag. Cleaned room. Went around the neighbourhood with housemate, Karin.

2^nd week: Went for a party/clubbing in support of refugees. Went sightseeing with Clod. Coldest day was Sunday early morning: -13C!!

3^rd week: Went to the museums. Got new and proper winter boots! Cheese fondue dinner with colleagues.

4^th week: Visited the Jewish museum. Met up with Jemimah and friends. Went to Berlin Wall and left my mark!

5^th week: Went to Checkpoint Charlie, another place where the Berlin Wall is. Checked out Potsdamer Platz and got some souvenirs.

6^th week: Went to a concentration camp in Sachsenhausen. Needed to make myself happy after the concentration camp visit for I went to shop for souvenirs.

7^th week: Explored KaDeWe, the biggest mall in Europe apparently and bought souvenirs. I also got lost!

8^th week: Last weekend!! Pack! Pack! Pack! Hung out with Marie and Anna. Walked around Krumme Lanke forest with Claudia. A beautiful place!