Believe

I don't consider myself a religious person. I don't pray every day, or fast once a week, or go to temple every week. In fact, if you were to ask me what are the principles or tenets or "rules" of Hinduism (of which I was raised in), I'll be the first to admit that I have been short in my learnings. I DO know that Hindus belief in reincarnation and that the so-called idols/statues that we pray to are symbols of the ABSOLUTE or THE ONE i.e. God.

Despite my profession of being non-religious, I DEFINITELY do belief in God. Yes! Of this I am certain. Don't ask me why or how....I just know that deep in my heart, God exists. It's something that I can't explain and won't attempt to do so. I just know that God has always been there whenever I'm in trouble or when I'm conflicted, or when I'm happy, or simply when I am crazy. 

You can call me a theist, a person who believes in the existence of God. While I know of some people who may disagree with what I have said...to me....whether I define myself as a Hindu or Taoist or Christian, does not matter. All that is important is that I know that God is here. Of this I am certain!!

This may be an unusual entry in my blog but somehow, I just felt like I needed to write this when I came across the picture above. I smiled when I read it, and it reminded me...or rather, it assured me that God is always there, watching over us, whether we believe or not. 

Travel Travel Travel

So I'm lucky. My job allows me to travel to places and experience things that some people can only dream about. While I don't get to travel on first class or stay at 5-star hotels (in fact, it's the absolute opposite), what I get out of the experience is invaluable. My travels have ranged from the good (I won't say best) to the downright depressing: I've traveled to Europe and experienced the culture there; I've stayed with rural women in India and experienced days with no water or electricity; I've been to the Philippines and East Malaysia (places that I only ever talk about or plan to visit, but has not materialised in my personal life). 

In the last two weeks, I've been on 8 flights. And in another two weeks, I'll be off again. The last time, I went to the West. This time it's South Asia: my third time to India. I wasn't really keen to go on this trip, simply because my body is still tired and the connections for this round of travel is simply exhausting!! I'll be spending an obscene amount of hours in the airports; all these just so that I can attend an anniversary celebration for 3 days!! While it is indeed important for me to represent my organisation at this celebration, I can't help but dread the travel. Nevertheless, I have no choice and I just have to suck it up!!

While I complained and garnered sympathy about my "predicament", I came upon this on FB recently (see below)...and suddenly, I had a change of heart. 

I realised how lucky I was to be able to travel for free (literally everything is paid for) and gain a whole new dimension of experiences that not many people are lucky enough to enjoy. I realised that I should stop complaining (although I doubt I'll be able to) and accept what's been offered to me. My mum told me that, while I may be complaining now, in years to come, when I look back upon these experiences, I'd tell myself that it was all worth it; and that I would not have changed anything. 

You know what? I think she may just be right! 

:-)

Going through a roller coaster of emotions

I have read countless books and I have never reviewed one. I don’t intend to start doing so here. However, recently, I read a book that was recommended to me by my mum and OMG…it was one of the most difficult books I’ve read thus far. Not that it was long or that it had many chapters. But the emotions that were invoked in me as I read page after page, chapter after chapter…I felt as though my soul was being slowly chipped away as I turned the pages, while at the same time, hope, inspiration and gratitude was threatening to burst out of my heart. Never have I felt such a roller coaster of emotions while reading a book. And that is why I have to write this.

I’m the type of reader who prefers to read within my genre of comfort. Reading a book that is not in my comfort zone is a rarity, something that I have just began to venture out into. And so, when I decided to take up my mother’s recommendation about the book, both my sis and mum were surprised! Surprise soon turned to regret (I think), because I kept complaining the whole time I was reading the book, much to their chagrin!

The book: The City of Joy by Dominique Lapierre

“What irony, that one of Calcutta's most devastating slums should be known as Anand Nagar, ``the City of Joy.'' By interweaving impressionistic glimpses from the lives of a Polish Catholic priest, a rickshaw driver, and an American doctor, Lapierre creates a searing vision of the struggle for survival, the flashing violence, and the social and cultural practices of the slum. His theme that from human misery can emerge joy might seem to some readers as a bogus acceptance of a terrible evil. Yet Lapierre's narrative slides skillfully in and out of both history and fiction to create an effective but horrible montage of disease, death, and destruction amid elements of charity, hope, and love.” – adapted (and edited) from Barnes and Noble.

The book was written based on interviews, immersions and visits to the City of Joy. In a way, it was sort of like a consolidated diary of various people. I took that review/synopsis from the Net as I just could not find the right words to describe the premise of the book. To me, whatever I say will not live up to quality of the book.

As I read the book (which was later turned into a movie starring Patrick Swayze), a whole range of emotions went through me. There were times when I wanted to cry, when I actually laughed out loud, when I actually closed my nose when reading a scene. The book really hit me simply because, I have, to an extent, experienced some of the scenarios from the book - the lack of (or no) water and electricity; mingling with the children (not slum children but rural children who are underprivileged); the poor men and women being so generous with their food and whatever else they had. I’ve been to India twice and reading this book brought me right back.

I’ve not been to Calcutta, but I guess the extent of poverty, disease and destruction is somewhat similar all over India. Lapierre’s use of words and description of places were so vivid that I did not even have to imagine it in my mind; but rather, I could SEE it so clearly, as though I was a fly on a wall, watching every move, everything that was happening. This was an old book, written in 1982 (if I’m not mistaken). While my copy of the book looks like it has been chewed by a dog, the issues detailed in the book, sadly, have not changed in the 30-odd years since it was first published. That is just so sad.

The good thing is: the book is a great read! No regrets! And while I was forced to delve into emotions that really shook me, I’m happy to have “survived” and come out stronger, more inspired, more thankful. The book also delves into religion and there were times when I had to stop reading, close the book and pray, thanking God for all that I have. I’m not a strictly religious person but the people in this book served as a reminder to me that, even when everything is going wrong, faith and hope (in God) can carry us through anything.

This book is going to stick to me for quite awhile. It’s just hard to forget or erase what I have “seen.”--

Short and Sweet Malaysia Dance 2014 - Winners

So I attended the final day of the Short and Sweet Malaysia Dance 2014 competition last Saturday, and considering the meagre crowd that were present on the first day, this time it was packed. Probably because it was the last day and that the winners were going to be announced that night!

Unlike what my choreographer friend told me that "in the performing world, the second day is usually the worst" because the crowd is usually the least and that the performers would see a drop in their performance, this year apparently, the numbers in the audience increased daily and my friend's group actually performed better as the days went by!

Just like the first day, I managed to coax my mum and sis to accompany me; but this time, we added Nicole (one of my sister's bffs) to the group. It was also her birthday and since she had no plans, we "dragged" her willingly to the competition. :-) And of course, she was instructed to vote for only one team. Hehe! She confessed later that she was getting a little bored until the young Indian girls came on stage and spiced things up. (We believe that Nicole was an Indian in her previous life).

This time, we sat at a different place; choosing to sit in the middle column, almost right at the top, thinking that we'd get a good view of the stage. Alas, we were wrong. As it was a full house, everyone seemed to be on the edge of their seats, elongating their necks to get a better view of the performances.

Performances:

As expected, ALMOST all the performers had 'upped their game' so to speak, performing even better than they did on the first day. I believe there are two reasons for this: 1) It was after all the final day and much were at stake(!); 2) as I mentioned before, I believe the crowd had something to do with the improved performances. The energy was amazing; you could feel the tension and excitement; the nerves and enthusiasm.

There's really no point reviewing the performances again; suffice to say, ALMOST everyone improved. Of course, I was left still pondering about the meaning of certain performances (even after I'd watched it a second time) while some had improved, like the prayer-themed performance (at least there were less stumbling) and the group ballet dance (it was quite a captivating performance).

One performance that I just HAVE to mention is the last solo performance. In my review, I had said that I found the sounds disruptive and that I did not really get the point. This time, the dancer/choreographer actually dedicated the last part of his dance to one of his friends who was on the ill-fated MH370. This I found wrong and an immediately dislike crept into me. He even made a mistake with the airline, saying it was MH470 and I actually spoke out loud saying (Huh???!!). I'm not sure if people heard me but my sis elbowed me to keep quiet!!

To me (and my mum), it was like an act of desperation to win the judges hearts and audience votes. He even had his friends in the audience throw white paper planes from their seats! Sorry to say, this did not go down well with me. I rolled my eyes!

Other than this performance, I really enjoyed my second time. Probably because I knew what to expect and that I didn't have to worry about trying to understand what was being projected/performed.

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After all the performances, the judges and organisers left the hall to count the votes, while the performers and audience had an impromptu dance concert.

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Winners:

The complete list of winners including photos can be found here: http://shortandsweetmalaysia.blogspot.com/

I'm happy (and perasan enough!) to say that my votes (and that of my sis, mum and Nicole) helped my friend's group win not one but TWO awards at the competition!! Yup....they (of course) won the Audience Choice Award and one of the disabled dancers (the one who did the handstand) won Best Supporting Dancer - Male! Of course, as every category was read out, I was praying and hoping that they would win; but I think TWO awards is fantastic in itself! 

Special Mention:
Dance Title: The Only Disability in Life is A Bad Attitude

 

Since I know one of the choreographers (the other coincidentally turned out to be my sis's ex-classmate!), I sort of know the background to this group's participation in this competition. In fact, I had thought that I could help them by writing about this group BEFORE the competition, hoping to garner a new audience and get them to come watch the competition and vote for them. Unfortunately, things did not work out; but hey...they still won two awards without my help (not that I would have been of any help anyway).

I'm sure the group invited a lot of people to come and support them and I'm happy to see that whatever publicity they did, worked out well for them. But apart from that, one cannot dismiss the hard work that was put into it. The choreography, the time put into practice, the costumes - everything played a role. Despite having less than a month to perfect their routine, it was a very admirable effort. Their performance was one of two lively performances, which manage to make people tap their feet and cheer while they performed. One word: fun!

But excitement aside, I must say that the title of the dance could easily be the name of the group; for I did not see any disability in any of them. In fact, in my opinion, besides winning the awards, the group had in fact GIVEN an award, and that is......The Inspiration Award - for showing us that indeed... "The Only Disability in Life is A Bad Attitude." :-) 



(Hopefully they come up with an emotional routine next year, one that will tug at my heart and make me cry! Haha! :p)

Short and Sweet Malaysia 2014 Dance Competition

So here goes my AMATEUR review of the performances from last night's Short and Sweet Malaysia 2014 Dance Competition. To me, performing arts is about portraying/delivering artful pieces/performance that engages, touches, inspires, the soul of the audience; and so, I have tried to keep to this in my reviews.

*I missed taking photos of the first three performances.

1. ‘… their journey …’

This was a jungle-themed dance, with the dancers dressed in costumes that looked like it came from Thailand. The dance began with a group of men and as they moved around, their movements matched the feel and tone of the music. The dance was engaging until the two female dancers entered the stage. It was then that I lost the plot of the dance. I wasn't sure what to make out of the female dancers, as I could not understand what they were trying to project. Maybe it was a dance of attraction as the group of men were sitting in a corner watching them. Then a female and male dancer danced a couple's piece, to which I felt that there was no chemistry between them. The dance movements at times were not as synchronised as it was at the beginning.

Overall, it was a good opening to the competition.

2. Breath of Heaven

This prayer-themed dance was performed by two females whom I am guessing are/were ballerinas. Unfortunately, the two dancers were not strong; in fact, one kept fumbling her steps, always landing and then adjusting which disrupted the flow of the dance. Unlike the first, I understood the dance and what is was trying to say, however, it was the song that made the dance. The song was meaningful and beautiful, touching the soul. I did not get the same emotion from the dancers.

In my opinion, with more practice, it could have been a beautiful performance. 

3. Sayang disayang

This was a very ethnic Malay/Merdeka themed solo dance. From the song to the costume to the setting. The dance movements complemented the song; but I could not really figure out what the message was. Was is about love for the country/patriotism? Was it to reminisce about the past? I don't know. 

4. Spices of India

Performed by very young Bharata Natyam students, this Indian themed dance was engaging. The dancers were very enthusiastic; I know how hard it is to learn the traditional dance, so the fact that at times they were a bit "messy" is forgivable. When the modern music began, the performance started to look out of place. I would have preferred them to stick to the traditional but alas....maybe they wanted to combine traditional and modern.

I give them an "A" for effort and the fact that they were all constantly smiling throughout the entire performance.

5.  The Only Disability In Life Ia A Bad Attitude

*This was the performance that I had come to watch and so, my review may sound bias.

This was the only group that combined able - bodied and disabled performers. The dance was Grease-inspired, with simple dance moves and a catchy song. With two performers in wheelchairs, the group was in sync and did not appear to have difficulty moving around the stage. This was the shortest dance of the whole competition, which to me, left little to be desired. It was not long enough for me to FEEL or be touched. But then again, with the fast beat of song, I doubt much emotion could be projected. I think the highlight of the dance was the one- hand stand by one of the disabled dancers. Though it may be easy for him, I very much doubt that most of us in the audience can actually do a handstand!!

Though the whole dance in itself did not project much emotion that I could engage with, it did leave me thinking of how much more the group could do if given the time and opportunity. After all, since I know the "behind-the-scenes" story of their participation, I'm pretty sure they did the best that they could. It was indeed a very commendable effort!!

6.  The Insider

This was another ballet themed group dance, which unfortunately started out wrong; which then lead to the group being confused, with one dancer even falling. This group was easily the best dressed as they all looked like orange/peach swans with masks. This group showed much promise but in the end, was a let down.

The song was a haunting tune that stayed in my mind after the dance ended. They probably need a second chance.

7. Before It Begins, After It Ends

The second solo performance of the night, this dance started out in the dark with no music. The dancer held a microphone while making noises. Then a monologue by Robin Williams from the movie Vietnam War (I'm guessing it's that movie) came on and to that, he started an interpretive dance. From the monologue, a slow song started playing to which there were more emotional dance and expressions.

He was a strong dancer with strong movements; but the over-the-top emotions, expressions and sounds kept me distracted from the grace of his dance.

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Well....it was only Day 1 and there are still 2 more days of performances to go before the prize giving ceremony. That's two days for improvement for those who fumbled, two days for those who did well to inspire others and get more votes.

I'll be going again on the last day to see the winners! Hopefully, the group that I'm supporting comes out tops!!! :-)

Performing Arts

I was never an artistic person, whether it be visual arts (I could never, and still can't, draw a proper car, person or tree) or performing arts. The extent of my involvement in performing arts, if you can even call it that: I was in my school choir for 2 years, the choral speaking team for another 2 years and have performed for the closing of the SUKMA games. Hmmm....

I've always admired people from the world of performing arts. Their passion, their dedication, the energy they exude. But apart from that, what I really look up to in these people is the courage they have to perform in front of a myriad of people. It can be one person or 500 people, and yet, it seems that the more people there are, the better they perform. It could be the energy that they absorb from the audience, envelops them so and inspires them to perform well. I don't know.

Saying all these, I've finally began to explore my "artistic" side this year. And by explore, I mean it VERY vaguely! This is due to my sister who happens to work in an NGO that is sometimes a beneficiary of the events of the performing arts. I've been to two benefit acts this year - the first being a musical titled 'Sinbad'. I really enjoyed myself and for the first time, I got to watch an actual musical performed by professionals. The second show that I watched was a fundraiser drama by the students from Inti College. Of course, it's just impossible to compare the two. Suffice to say, the students did the best that they could.

This brings me to the subject of this entry (and of the next): I recently attended the Short and Sweet Malaysia Dance Competition that is currently being held in conjunction with the Georgetown Festival 2014. I had planned to attend a few events that are being organised for the festival just to feel "involved". I had not planned nor heard of this competition until a friend told me about it - and that he was taking part as the choreographer of a group!! The icing on the cake was that he was working with disabled DANCERS and that the audience could also partake in the voting process!! So...this was a definite go!

I'd learned a bit about the background of the group that my friend was working with (he was not dancing this time as he had undergone a surgery) and have heard reviews of their past performances, which I must say, were all positive! So, of course I was eager to see them in action. The only performing disabled person I've seen is Artie from Glee. Yeah I know!

There were some glitches/problems at the beginning in that there were no available dancers to join the disabled group. But soon after, things got sorted out and practice and rehearsals were underway. According to my friend, the tech run two days before the competition was fun and that it went really well, so that sort of set the tone (for me at least) that things were going to go well.

And then it was competition day (I watched it along with my mum and sis and a whole gang of my friend's friends who come to support him)....

My amateur reviews of the performances are in my next entry....

Woman Most Beautiful

I wrote this awhile back, hoping that it would come out in the newspapers. But alas, after 3 months, it has not happened; and so...here I am sharing it as one of my entries.

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Woman Most Beautiful

I lost a grandaunt a few weeks back. It was so sudden and unexpected that until today, reality has yet to sink in. I last saw her alive in December 2013. She was not feeling well then but as she always refused to go to a doctor or hospital, no one really took her seriously. Just two days before she died, she was talking to my aunt about the birthday card she sent; and the next thing we knew, she was gone. Her last wishes echoed her lifestyle of simplicity. It was a simple ceremony and for the first time in years, the whole family was back, in one place at the same time. She reunited us.

Her name was Corazon Tomas. My family and I used to visit her every school holiday (she lived in KL while we are from Penang). As time passed and my sister and I left school, visits to Aunty Soon (a nickname she fondly adopted after her Chinese house-help could not pronounce ‘Corazon’) became rare. Years would pass and our visits to her could be counted on one hand.

Aunty Soon was a recluse. After the untimely death of her husband and subsequent demise of her parents, she became isolated from the world. Getting her out of her room was a chore; getting her out of the house was even more difficult. We tried our best to include her in everything but in the end, she felt better being by herself. She would spend her time watching TV dramas and reading countless newspapers and magazines. At least that was what we thought she did. Despite being an O.C.D. and to an extent, a hypochondriac, there was one thing that Aunty Soon had in abundance: LOVE. Oh yes, and she was famous for her handwritten letters and cards. And her handwriting was beautiful!

She never forgot birthdays – in fact, she stuck to the “old system” of sending birthday cards, complete with hand written messages. Each card and every phone call that she made would end with an ‘I Love You’. I can’t speak for my family but I personally can admit that I think Aunty Soon was taken for granted. Come every birthday, it was a joke to ask if anyone of us had received a card from her. She never failed to do so. If there was no card from her that year, it would mean that she was sick. Even then, you would get a phone call at the very least.

The most painful part of the whole process was not about her leaving; but rather, the memories that she left behind that we did not know of. I did not cry at her funeral nor did I feel THAT sad. But I really felt the loss and almost cried when, while cleaning out her room, we stumbled upon boxes and bags of paper cuttings/articles, posters of waterfalls (we never knew she liked them), photos, letters and cards that she had kept since the 1970s and so much more. I think finding the paper cuttings/articles was the hardest part. She had a whole bunch of articles from a wide range of topics: medical, parenting, recipes, tailoring, fashion. But the one set of articles that hit me was of pictures of children holding their parents’ hands. Seeing those pictures made me understand that while being a recluse, she too needed companionship; that she probably craved the love that she did not dare ask nor seek.

Aunty Soon often thought that she was alone even though many people loved her. The sad truth is that she should not have felt that way. Though she had no children of her own, she had two “sons” in the form of my two cousins whom she brought up as her own, giving them so much of her love, attention and care. Her death affected her “sons” more than it affected the rest of us. All I can say is that, while she has left us, she continues to live on nevertheless, as she left her best with the both of them. Seeing them as the persons that they are now and will be, I’m sure Aunty Soon will be smiling.

One invaluable find among her valuables was a handwritten essay (see pic on the right) about her mother (my great-grandmother). It is short but very very sweet. It shows the extent of her love for her mother. Now I know where I inherit the writing genes from. I could not find an appropriate title for this piece and in the end, I decided that the title of Aunty Soon’s essay was the best title for this.

Dear Aunty Soon, as you now reunite with God, your husband, parents and brothers, please know that we all love you and miss you!

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Woman Most Beautiful

By Corazon Tomas

Who do you think is the most beautiful woman in the world?

This was the question asked by a friend during a lunch hour and it was immediately followed by a clamor of voices. Every girl seemed to know who, naming beauty queens, film actresses and other well-known personalities.

I knew who the most beautiful woman in the world was, but I kept silent.

Her beauty is within and without. Hers is not the kind of face that would launch a thousand ships. She is a housewife, known only to a few people. But to the ones who knew her best, her face was always an inspiration and a hope.

She was my first teacher, nurse and friend. She taught me right from wrong. Her kiss and warm embrace in times of sickness were more potent than medicine. Her smile, her understanding, her hand holding mine, made me meet problems and heartaches with strength and fortitude. She shared my experiences, vicarious or actual, and was ever so proud of my accomplishments, no matter how small. She is my most experienced adviser and most dependable ally.

And she cooks like an angel.

Yes, she is the most beautiful woman in the world – my mother. And lovely as the gift of life is, lovelier still it is to be born to a woman like my mother. I think all mothers are beautiful, but my mother is the most beautiful of all. - #

Heartfelt Appreciation

This entry deserves an entry of its own as it is to thank the 2 (OK, 3) people who made my birthday week happen.

First - to my dear dear dear dear sister for being the BEST party organiser ever!!! Having been "given" the "honour" of planning my birthday party a year ago, the end result of all the planning, organising, putting up with my OCD and indecisiveness, was simply fantastic! I don't think I could or will be able to pull off anything close to what she did. Hats off to my little sister!!!! Muax muax muax!!!

Second - my Penang mom!!!! As my sister's helper or rather co-organiser, the party wouldn't have been fun if not for her. I know that it was her who planned to have the "after dinner" party, as I thought having dinner was enough. But as always, she was right! Thank you thank you!!

And last but not least - my father. For a while he was left in the dark as he could not be trusted to keep a secret. But alas, he managed to keep it in despite accidentally spilling the beans a few times.

While I have specifically picked out 3 people, many more were involved and to them, I thank you too!!!

The Week I Turned 29+1

It took me a month to do this but it had to be written

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I am officially 29+1 for almost a month already. And what a week it was, when I turned 29+1!!

It all started with me applying for 5 days of leave from work. 5 days plus two weekends gave me a 9-day leave! The only other times when I have this long a leave is during Deepavali and Xmas/New Year.

(If you guys have been reading my previous entries, you would know that I have wanted a birthday party since last year and had "delegated" the job to my sister).

Anyway, the first 3 days of my leave passed in a blink of an eye. I didn't do much and was still fretting  about the birthday plans. There was going to be a dinner (2 days after my actual birthday, so that it would be a Friday when people could make it) but other than that, I was kept in the dark. I didn't know who was coming or what exactly were the plans for that night.

Come Tuesday (the eve of my b'day), Lawrence (or KT) took me out for dinner as he couldn't attend Friday's dinner. We went to a French-Japanese restaurant in Gurney Paragon where we dined on their signature spaghetti, a souffle-type dish (with rice, broccoli, sausages, mushrooms) and a dessert of chocolate parfait. We then walked around the mall before taking a slow drive home, catching up as the last time I saw him was probably about a year ago (we argued about this though).

I got my first surprise when I reached home that night. Mum and sis were having dinner at the food court near my house and asked me to join them so that they could get gossips about my dinner. Lo and behold, as I reached the food court and approached their table, I saw someone familiar sitting with them. Who was it???? My Singapore mum!!! As my sis had refused to tell me who was or wasn't coming for my dinner, this was surprise No.1!! Back in the house, Singapore mum unloaded her luggage to reveal and distribute lots of gifts, from chocolates to bags to purses. Singapore dad called me too, wanting to know about my "date", who I went out with, did I get kissed....!!! Lol!! I think he was disappointed that there was no "action."

The day ended with the ushering in of my birthday! Sis surprised me with one of those HUGE birthday cards with messages from family and friends who could not make it to the party!!! It was SOOOOO sweet!!!!

MY BIRTHDAY

I woke up fairly early as my sis was working. Penang and Singapore mum were so sweet to also wake up and tag along for the drive. After dropping sis off at work, we went to have breakfast at our usual Koay Teow Thng shop, but alas, it was closed. So we went to Chowrasta market instead and had a very unhealthy breakfast of Char Koay Teow!! By then, messages were already streaming in.

We headed home after breakfast and for the next few hours, we just relaxed and gossiped. It was in fact a lazy day. After picking my sis up from work later in the day, we headed home, had a bath, then went out for dinner. We had delicious Western Food, generously paid for by Singapore mum.

It was a pretty uneventful day but that was soon going to change....

The day after my b'day, was a day of visiting. Singapore mum wanted to visit her other sister in Penang and after much hoo-haa, Penang mum reluctantly followed (Penang mum had a clash with this sister and they haven't spoken to each other in yeeearrsss!). The visit was successful, after which, we picked my sis up (she took half day leave) and we went to my cousin's house for lunch.

Lunch was Assam Pedas and Laksa, all cooked by my cousin with her 6 little kids as helpers. Singapore mum was so happy to see all of them, and of course, photo-taking was a must!!

After lunch, we headed to Prangin Mall where we met up with another cousin and her son. This time, we had tea; after which we met her new Pakistani husband. Singapore mum and I got Pashmina scarves as presents from my cousin and her husband.

As Singapore mum had fallen in love with the food court opposite my house, we went there for dinner. Mum was dying to introduce the garlicky-brinjal dish but unfortunately, Singapore mum did not really like it. But....we had ikan panggang! YUMS!!

FRIDAY - D-DAY

So the day of the dinner began with both mums, sis and I watching Maleficent! Yup....as a homage to my fellow birthday buddy (yes...Angelina Jolie (AJ) and I were both born on June 4th!). If I'm not mistaken, we caught the first show of the day, skipping breakfast and coming out just in time for lunch. The movie was really good, so much so that I wanted to clap at the end!! And AJ was a sight to behold! I really enjoyed the movie and in fact, actually prefer this version to the one I grew up with. Another age thing?? Hmmm....before I forget, thanks Singapore mum for paying for the tickets!!! And lunch!! :p

Anyway, after the movie and lunch, we headed home to get prepared for the night.

THE DINNER

As it was the eve of a public holiday, the roads were packed with cars!! Not to forget that it was also the school holidays!! Thinking that we had left the house with enough time to spare, unfortunately, my colleague arrived at the restaurant before us!!!

Arriving slightly late at the restaurant, my colleague and Trish (yup...we're friends again) were already there. Slowly, people started to arrive and soon things were in full swing. Everyone was getting to know each other, mingling, eating, taking photos. In fact, I was too busy greeting people and mingling that I hardly ate!! And the food was GOOD!!!

About an hour into the dinner, surprise No. 2 and No. 3 arrived much to my delight!! My brother and future sis-in-law CAME!!! I had thought that they would miss the dinner as just that afternoon, my brother was tagged in a couple of photos on FB, playing at a gig. That sort of "told" me that he was busy. I was sooooooooooo happy and excited that I actually wanted to cry; and to later find out that they were there for the weekend....WOOOOO!!!!!!!

After everyone had eaten, it was time for the cake cutting and this was another surprise as well. The cake was decorated with the snowman from FROZEN and it had 29+1 on it! Lol!! PLUS...it was German chocolate. Thank you Robert and Prem for the cake!

So, once everyone had eaten the cake and ice-cream (which was dessert), some of the guests left, while the bulk of us went to Straits Quay to continue partying (or rather, start partying). We ended up in Healy Mac's, where there was a live band.

Beer, stout, cocktails and coke were the beverages for the night. Another surprise was in store as the whole of Healy Mac's sang for me!!! Must have been my brother's work. Not that I'm complaining!! I also met an old colleague of mine - which was nice as we had lost contact. I'm not sure how much I drank but it was enough to give me a hang over the next day! Worse...I actually drove my aunty's car back!! By the time we were home and after opening all my presents, it was already nearly 4am.

The next day, I woke up feeling fine, until I drank a sip of water and coffee. That made me vomit twice and boom! my hang over began!! I slept till about 3-ish, got up, took a bath and then sent Singapore mum to the airport. Apparently, getting me drunk was part of the plan and all were happy to achieve that. But I must insist that I WAS NOT DRUNK!! By then I was feeling much better. That night, dinner was at the food court as Penang mum wanted to introduce the garlic-brinjal to surprise No.2 and No.3. Dinner was followed by a movie, the Edge of Tomorrow, just between us siblings.

It was an early night for us as we (or at least I) was still recovering from the previous night.

The fantastic week ended the next day. We all went to the Occupy Beach Street event just to jalan-jalan, then had the customary nasi kandar lunch. Around 3-ish that day, surprise No. 2 and No. 3 headed back home.

LOVE - that was the FIRST thing that welcomed me in this new decade. Everyone who planned, was involved, came etc made me feel loved. It was more than I could have asked for!!

What a fantastic start to a new decade!!!!!!

p.s. pictures are on FB

Bidding farewell to another decade…

My 266^th entry would be my last entry as a 29 year old.

Call me weird but I’ve sort of been waiting for this day to come. It’s my last day of being in my 20s; yes…it’s the last day of me being 29!! Over the past few years, I’ve told people that I was actually looking forward to starting a new decade, that the NUMBER wasn’t something I was bothered about. In fact, even as I celebrated my birthday last year, I was still excited!! I was already planning my part for THIS year!

But as the months passed and 2014 begun, somehow the excitement started to wane and, dread, fear, nervousness, call it whatever you want, started creeping in. Soon, I wasn’t ready to embrace the impending new decade; and I even gave my new age a new name: 29+1.

I also began to feel left behind as every time I browsed through FB, there was always news of a friend’s engagement/wedding, a baby’s arrival, someone’s new job etc. I wondered if, as everyone moved on, was I being left behind? Are my feet cemented in the ground? As these thoughts ran through my mind, I started to look back at the past decade, and I realized that as I was so busy comparing my life to others, I missed, or rather, was blinded to all that I have done, achieved and gone through. My own insecurities and doubts clouded my experiences.

And so, as I sit here on the last day of being 29, on the eve of my birthday, here are some moments (cos I’m sure there will be a few that I missed) that I believe are the highlights of the past decade: (in random order)

1. 21 – I reached the unreachable and obtained my key to freedom!! I had 3 small parties, 3 cakes and it was the first time I received a bouquet.
2. Went from high school student to a graduate!! I got my degree – in LAW!! Not in accounts or business as earlier thought
3. I got my 1^st job! And surprisingly, I’m still in my first job!
4. And because of my job, I’ve managed to travel quite a bit. Twice to India; twice to Europe (Germany); to the Philippines; and also Bintulu, Sarawak. Not forgetting that outside work, I went to Singapore twice after more than 10 years!!
5. I’ve met powerful people i.e. women in my course of work – the late Irene Fernandez, Ambiga Sreenivasan, Marina Mahathir, Maria Chin.
6. I also voted for the 1^st time! I missed the last election in 2008, so 2013 was my first time exercising my right to vote.
7. I got my own car – and it’s paid off. All before I leave my 20s!! Also helped pay off my parents’ car.
8. Apart from personal achievements and growth, I’d like to think that in some way, I helped/contributed to my sister’s growth. She’s graduated and is now a working girl of two years!
9. As I leave my 20s and begin the next decade, I bought my parents’ house. And so begins a whole new chapter.
10. Last but not the least, the family is still together. Despite the past and on-going struggles, we are happy and together. And that’s what’s important!

As I sign off my last entry before I step into a new decade, here’s to hoping and praying for a better/improved decade ahead! 

Hmmmm

There's roughly less than 2 months to my birthday. That means, that's less than 2 months to me leaving my 20s and starting a whole new DECADE of my life!! 

When I was young, I thought that 21 was still a loooong way. Then 21 arrived. My cousin once told me that when the 20s came, it'll pass in a blink of an eye. Much to my chagrin, I have to agree with him. 21 came and went. And before I knew it, I was hitting the 1/4 of a century mark. I turned 25!!

Now, by the time I turned 25, I was beginning to enjoy being in my 20s (although if I read my old entries, it may not seem so). I even became excited as year after year passed, and I was heading towards the end of my 20s. Even when I hit 28, I was still excited. In fact, I was anticipating reaching the big THREE-O. I actully told people that I was looking forward to that part of my life. What was I thinking????

And now...as I sit less than two months away from my birthday, the day that ends my year of being in my 20s, I feel myself cringing.Whenever people ask me how old I am, instead of proudly announcing my age, I look at them and say.....Twenty-Nine-Plus-One. Yes...call me childish, but suddenly, there is fear of leaving my 20s and all that I have experienced and achieved. 

For now, I have decided that I will forever be 29 and just "plus one, plus two etc" every year during my birthday. I'm not sure what has brought on this "fear" or anxiety. Is it due to all the "talk" about being an old maid? Or the saying that the 20s are the best years of one's life especially for a woman? I don't know. 

What I do know is, I have started worrying. Worrying about not being able to do what I want; worrying about what if I don't ever get married (not that I'm desperate about this); worrying about my biological clock ticking (I'm still quite sure that I don't want kids); worrying about whether I'll be able to enjoy life as I want to. All these worrying and I'm still in my 20s!! 

Sighs.......I hope that these worries are temporary. That, once I breached the THREE-O mark, I'll start to embrace and accept that age is just a number and that it should not be an excuse for not being able to do things. 

I should come up with a bucket list of things to achieve before I end the next decade of my life; and perhaps then, I would not be saddled with so much anxiety. 

Hmmm...........