There's roughly less than 2 months to my birthday. That means, that's less than 2 months to me leaving my 20s and starting a whole new DECADE of my life!!
When I was young, I thought that 21 was still a loooong way. Then 21 arrived. My cousin once told me that when the 20s came, it'll pass in a blink of an eye. Much to my chagrin, I have to agree with him. 21 came and went. And before I knew it, I was hitting the 1/4 of a century mark. I turned 25!!
Now, by the time I turned 25, I was beginning to enjoy being in my 20s (although if I read my old entries, it may not seem so). I even became excited as year after year passed, and I was heading towards the end of my 20s. Even when I hit 28, I was still excited. In fact, I was anticipating reaching the big THREE-O. I actully told people that I was looking forward to that part of my life. What was I thinking????
And now...as I sit less than two months away from my birthday, the day that ends my year of being in my 20s, I feel myself cringing.Whenever people ask me how old I am, instead of proudly announcing my age, I look at them and say.....Twenty-Nine-Plus-One. Yes...call me childish, but suddenly, there is fear of leaving my 20s and all that I have experienced and achieved.
For now, I have decided that I will forever be 29 and just "plus one, plus two etc" every year during my birthday. I'm not sure what has brought on this "fear" or anxiety. Is it due to all the "talk" about being an old maid? Or the saying that the 20s are the best years of one's life especially for a woman? I don't know.
What I do know is, I have started worrying. Worrying about not being able to do what I want; worrying about what if I don't ever get married (not that I'm desperate about this); worrying about my biological clock ticking (I'm still quite sure that I don't want kids); worrying about whether I'll be able to enjoy life as I want to. All these worrying and I'm still in my 20s!!
Sighs.......I hope that these worries are temporary. That, once I breached the THREE-O mark, I'll start to embrace and accept that age is just a number and that it should not be an excuse for not being able to do things.
I should come up with a bucket list of things to achieve before I end the next decade of my life; and perhaps then, I would not be saddled with so much anxiety.
Hmmm...........
