40 Days

There are 40 days left of my trip; which made me wonder whether 20 days have really gone by. And then I realized that I won’t actually be here for 60 days. Just 19 days in January, 28 in February and 11 in March. Total = 58 days! Lol! 

We had a vegan-themed breakfast farewell party today. Vivian is transitioning from full time to part time, while Kathleen is leaving to start her chambering. There was a mix of bread, cheeses, spreads, fruits, milk, yoghurt, coffee and tea. The discussion revolved around refugee rights. As I listened to the conversation around the table (the topic was more focused on EU refugee laws), I realized that I don’t really know much about the refugee situation in Malaysia, let alone the laws governing their rights. It was an interesting topic to listen to, but it is one that I don’t particular fancy taking up.

After breakfast, 11 of us headed to the KOW gallery for the “Believers” exhibition on the Right to Blasphemy. Now…I have always associated blasphemy to religion; but this exhibition showed me that blasphemy was a much broader issue and that it transcends issues, cultures and religion. While I cannot say that I came away from the exhibition fully understanding what it was all about, it did get me thinking about how most of us still think in boxes. Two of my colleagues had the same thoughts as me, coming into this exhibition. But we all came out wiser and more open-minded. It was indeed an interesting 2 hours (though there were times when I yawned).

Of course the moment we stepped out of the gallery, it was raining!! I had debated bringing an umbrella to work this morning and in the end decided not to. Alas….my decision turned out to be a poor choice. Thankfully it wasn’t raining THAT heavily, but I’ll need to leave my down jacket to dry for at least a day, just so it doesn’t smell. I think the rainy part of winter has begun which makes everything just wet and gloomy. But on the positive side, the temperatures are in the positives so there are no instantly frozen hands, or watery eyes or shivering legs.

On the way back to the office, Kathleen and I talked about her involvement in ECCHR and also about my stay here. And when I told her that this is my 6^th year in my organization, she said I looked so young to have spent 6 years there already. She guessed my age to be 24!! Haha!! She’s 26 by the way. She’s a true Berliner, born and bred here, but has traveled quite a bit. It’s sad that today is the first and last time that I’ll be meeting her. Oh well…

Also found out that Linda is gay and has a German girlfriend; and that, Francesca from Italy who has been here two years, is a tour guide to Italian tourists! 

I finally opened my bottle of wine and it's so sad that I am drinking it alone. I wonder how long it'll take me to finish the bottle.

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What a morning

First of all, I once again could not get up this morning! All I wanted to do was snuggle under my covers and just go back to sleep!! Once I managed to drag myself out of bed and get on with my morning routine, I was fine. There was no sun outside and no snow either. I guess that is a sign that the weather is going to improve. Or not! Everything was wet. L

When I reached my bus stop, I noticed that there was a sign stuck to the pole. Of course it was in German and there was no one around whom I could ask to translate! I sort of figured what the sign was saying coz I saw the word “nicht” which means ‘no’, so it had to be something to do with the bus not stopping or there will be no bus. And true enough, the bus did not stop!!! It went straight pass me! So I had to walk to the other stop which is about 100-150 metres away, and finally, the next bus stopped there! And…it was drizzling, which turned into quite a heavy drizzle. Thankfully, I was already at my work place by the time the heavy drizzle started. I asked Bibiana about the sign and she told me that she didn’t notice it! Lol! She said she saw a red sign which means that the bus stop is not working. Hmmm….looks like I’ll have to walk to the other bus stop from now on. Hopefully the date I saw on the sign (it said 5.02.13) is the date that the bus stop will be available again.

By the way…I don’t know which temperature reading to trust anymore. The faulty one (once I have added 2C to it) says it’s 7C; one site on the net says it’s 3C; while another says its 4C! I’ll probably just take the average of all and agak lah!

So a funder called me at work today, asking to set an appointment for a meeting. Oh God! This is a funder that funds our organization! I don’t like doing these meetings for fear of saying the wrong thing or even appearing to be lack of knowledge. My boss said she can brief me but still!! It’ll probably be a short meeting, with me presenting/giving a short overview of our work in PAN AP, as they said my boss doesn’t have to join us through Skype and that they do not have specific questions. Great! J

“Working” and being integrated here is quite an experience because most of the people here are from different parts of the world; and sharing and listening to their experiences is great. Over lunch today, we talked about the different ceremonies when it involves a birth, coming of age, marriage etc. It’s funny how some things/ideologies are similar but just practiced in a different way. For example, for Indians, when a girl comes of age, there is this coming-of-age ceremony that is compulsory. Traditionally, it was to inform people that this house has a daughter who is of marriageable age. In Spain, they “celebrate” girls and guys aged 30 who are still single! It’s more of an embarrassment thing but it seems the tradition is still being practiced! I didn’t say it was the SAME, but the idea that these single people needs to be “advertised”…!!

Tomorrow, I’ll be attending an exposition/exhibition called "Believers", which is on the right to blasphemy. The exhibition explores the right to blasphemy as a human right. It should be an interesting visit. This sort of things never happens back home; but I guess, here it’s easier to do so as it’s a learning organization as well and there are people to organize such outings.

I’ve started the habit of buying hot chocolate, coffee or even cappuccino on my way home. I also get donuts or croissants and eat them as pre-dinner meals. Lol! It’s cheap and since the shops/cafes are so near my place, it’s so convenient. It’s not a good habit to start especially since I won’t be indulging like this back home. Argh!

Haven’t opened my bottle of wine yet. Maybe tomorrow…hehe…I just had a long chat with my hsemate about religion, marriage, traveling, while having chocolate pancakes that she made. Lol! Her son was here earlier (!) and she wanted to introduce us but he was in a hurry. I told her that I didn’t know she was married; but she didn’t explain whether she was married, divorced or never married. She’s in her mid-50s I found out.

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By the way…I just realized that the dates on my blog entries are a day ahead! Lol!

Week 3

I got up feeling cold today. I don’t know why coz it did not snow last night and there was a bit of sunshine this morning. But after I changed and had breakfast, I felt much better. The walk to the bus stand was OK surprisingly, as the weather was nice. It wasn’t in the minus zone. In fact, the faulty reading meter said it was 3C, which meant that it was actually 5C. The net however said it was 1C. Anyhow…I was glad it wasn’t in the minus region. And Monica, my former school mate who now resides in Switzerland said that it should start warming up this week. Yay!

I spent part of the morning checking my mails and FB-ing; and also looking through what I have to research. I went through two cases and found some parts that can be worked on. So that’s probably going to take up my week at work.

I also spent some time searching for places to shop in Berlin, from malls to flea markets to second-hand shops. While there are an abundant of these places, getting to them seems to be a hassle. While I am trying to be brave thinking I would try and experiment with the bus, it looks like the bus that I take does not go to those places. I would have to use the U-Bahn (underground metro) and that is a complicated matter. Even the locals here aren’t really sure of how to travel with the metro as they usually just cycle or take the bus. Hmmm….

I went grocery shopping after work. Shops here are closed on Sundays, which is weird to me coz back home, all the supermarkets are open on Sundays! I bought my first bottle of wine! J I figured I’d better start consuming my share of alcohol here; otherwise it would be a wasted opportunity. Lol! I haven’t figured out which beer to drink yet though. I don’t relish the idea of drinking by myself, but in honour of people back home who told me to drink my fill, I think I owe it to them!! :p

As I type this, my hsemate just came into my room to give me a bowl of salad! She’s really nice and I sometimes wonder whether she sees me as a daughter!

Well…I find that as days go by, there’s less for me to write. Lol! But if the weather continues to be great, I’m sure I’ll be slightly more adventurous and wander a little further, depending on how far my legs will take me. :p

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Relaxed Sunday

After a wonderful Saturday filled with laughter, long walks in the cold cold weather and visits to interesting places, I spent today relaxing.

I slept at nearly midnight yesterday as I wanted to upload whatever pictures I had taken and also update my blog. I got up at around 9am today when I received a Thaipusam text message. Sis had sent a text earlier but I didn’t hear it.

I went online and managed to Skype with my family for nearly 1.5hours! I figured that I should let the soundcard rest for a week each time; and then it’ll probably pity me and start working properly. I got updated about the Thaipusam events that happened today. Sis and mum did not make it up the 513 steps but sis is hopeful that she’ll do it tonight. I’ll only know tomorrow if she succeeded doing it.

I met Clod for lunch. We decided to go to a park (Hasenheide Park) and just walk around and get some fresh air. Yes…despite it snowing quite heavily! On the way to the park, we met up with Mattias J and the three of us walked to the park. Surprisingly, the park was quite crowded, with children sliding down the small snow hills or playing with the snow. We were there for only a short while as they both had to catch the bus to get to the main station.  

Week 2 is over! It feels surreal that I only arrived here last week! I’m not sure if time is indeed passing fast but it’s already the last few days of January and then comes February. Mum says that February will pass fast as there’s only 28 days! Lol!

I went to a few souvenirs shops yesterday and I got a rough idea of what I want to buy. But I’ll have to see if there is enough space in my baggage and also the weight. When I left Penang, my bag was around 18kg, so I basically have about 2-3 kg more that I can add. KLM allows up to 23kg so…But then, if I do have to pay excess baggage, what the hell!! I probably will have the money and also it’s once in a lifetime!

Having so much free time today got me thinking. I don’t know why but I ALWAYS have this feeling that I don’t know much about my work. I have been in my organization for 5 years (this November will be 6) and yet somehow, I always feel inadequate about my knowledge at work. I feel that people always seem to know more; they understand things faster; or they just seem smarter. I really don’t know if it’s an inferior problem of my own or that I am just making all this up.

I mean, I don’t think I would have stayed at the organization this long if I didn’t know anything. I wouldn’t have been put on the PPT team or even be sent on this exchange programme. The people here who have read my CV were impressed, so I must have done and be doing something right. I have this niggling feeling that when I return home to Penang, I won’t have much to tell my boss or organization what I did here; crazy thoughts that have been quashed by Claudia and even Wolfgang. They've told me not to stress out, that it’s a learning process and that I’ll do fine.

Nevertheless, I’m not exactly sure how, but I MUST get this negative feeling out of my head; this lack of self-confidence. It’s not healthy I know! Sighs…I must really have too much free time to be having these thoughts! Get a grip Shakun!! Lol!!

Another week has passed, and so begins another in a few hours. It’s only 6.15 here but I think I’ll call it a day for my online activities.

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What a Saturday

Despite sleeping at 4am, I got up at 9am feeling ok. I had expected to be tired and sleep in late till it was almost time to meet Wolfgang. Instead, I got up early, went online to update my blog and post the few pictures that I took.

Then I decided to call my sister, just to check how much it would cost to make an international mobile call from my German prepaid number. I tried looking online for the call costs and also wrote to the customer service centre, to which they said they would reply to me in a few working days (all this in German, mind you). Therefore, the faster way for me to know was to call. Result: it costs Euro 0.99 per minute. Not bad I should say. Of course I don’t intend to call them everyday. But since my laptop soundcard isn’t functioning properly, this is the next best thing.

I met Wolfgang at 12 noon for coffee. We talked about the exchange programme, what I am currently doing here, about PAN AP and some other general things like traveling etc. He seems quite OK but still…intimidating. He is the BOSS! He mentioned that he always sees me on the laptop at work and said that I should mix more with the other trainees. Well hello….they are all also always on their computers; and I DO participate in their meetings etc. Hmmm….maybe it's becoz I am not in the same room as the others. Well that will all change next week when some of the trainees move to my room.

So my first sightseeing tour of Berlin happened today; and boy was it fun, tiring and COLD! I met Clod at the bus stop around 1.30pm and from there, we took a bus to Hauptbahn Hof, the central station. From there, began our long tour walk. I really appreciate her taking the time to show me around. The first place we went to was Reichstag, their Parliament building. Impressive! It was so cold to be walking outside but what the heck? From there, we carried on to Brandenburg Tor (Gate), a landmark and symbol all in one with over two hundred years of history. We also entered the Room of Silence (Raum der Stille). This room was opened in the northern gatehouse of the Brandenburger Tor. Its opening was inspired by the meditation room in the UN building in New York. The Swedish General Secretary of the UN, Dag Hammarskjöld, (killed in an accident in 1961), set it up for his colleagues and himself. The Room of Silence was prompted by calls from the East Berlin peace movement, and was taken up by people of differing religious and cultural backgrounds.

From there, we took a walk and on the way, we entered Humboldt-Universität zu Berlin, which was impressive; then walked over to another gallery which held a single monument named Neue Wache, which is a sculpture of a Mother with her Dead Son. This sculpture is directly under the oculus, and so is exposed to the rain, snow and cold of the Berlin climate, symbolizing the suffering of civilians during World War II. A few more steps and we entered the Deutsches Historisches Museum but we didn’t look around. Apparently, the museum will have free entries tomorrow as it is a special occasion. I haven’t decided if we will be going there again tomorrow.

Further down the road and we reached ‘Museum Island’ (Museumsinsel), which is the name of the northern half of an island in the Spree River in the central Mitte district of Berlin, Germany, the site of the old city of Cölln. It is so called for the complex of five internationally significant museums, all part of the Berlin State Museums that occupy the island's northern part. Nefertiti is in one of the museums here. We entered one museum to inquire about the 3-day pass that we heard about; after getting the information that we needed, we decided that we will purchase this 3-day pass and then come back one weekend to go to all the museums.

By then, the weather was too cold and our hands were freezing. So we headed to Hackesche Hofe, which is a heritage site consisting of eight communicating, restored rear courtyards. We had coffee and cake at one of the cafes. From there, we headed to Alexanderplatz, where layer upon layer of Berlin’s urban history is located in interweaving centuries of social, political, and architectural history. Here, I saw the Fernsehturm (the TV tower that is Berlin’s highest building) and the municipal building.

As the weather was getting colder, we decided to head home and warm up, before meeting up for dinner again later. Clod and her friend met me at my apartment and we headed to an….INDIAN restaurant for dinner. Lol! Her friend was good looking :-), but unfortunately not single. I guessed that he would be in his early thirties and turns out, he's only turning 30 in August. Lol! That is two German guys so far who I approve of in the looks department! Lol! The three of us ate and talked for hours before calling it a day.

When I reached my room, I noticed that my hsemate had changed my bed sheets. How sweet!!

By the way, I did stop by at Madame Tussauds but we didn’t go in as Clod told me to check out the prices in London and see which is cheaper to go to. Apparently, the one in London is better.

Overall, I had a wonderful day although I wished it wasn’t so cold so I could take more pictures. I am looking forward to visiting the museums and I hope to take more pictures then!

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Friday Night

Well…the night started LATE! Bibiana and Linda were supposed to pick me up at around 8pm and by 9.30pm, there was still no news from them! So I texted them asking if they running late or if they were still at the meeting. A few minutes later, Bibiana called and said that they’re nearby and asked me to wait downstairs. When I reached the bottom of my apartment, I noticed a group of people waiting for me. Not only were Bibiana and Linda there, so was David, Vivian, Kristoff (the cutie) and Stephanie!

We all went to Bibiana’s apartment where we cooked dinner (pasta, bread, salad and wine). Conversation over dinner was on various topics; from drama to movies to authors. Claudia and Joe met us there by the way. By the time we left the apartment to go for the party, it was nearly midnight. Luckily, the place, Südblock was not very far; only about a 15-minute walk. And when you walk in a group, you don’t feel the distance.

When we reached the place, there was quite a line outside. This was so like the movies when you see people having to wait outside, waiting to be allowed in! I felt weird! The bouncer/guard was kind of cute. He looked like Ricky Martin! J

After waiting for about maybe 20 minutes, I managed to push my way through with Kristoff (Bibiana and Claudia managed to get in first, followed by the others after us). I got my hand stamped; gave my coat, gloves and cap to be kept for Euro 1, and it was party time!! The place was sooooo crowded and unlike Penang where we usually get a table, I stood and danced the whole time I was there. I NEVER dance and so this was a first. It felt weird but I just kept my body moving, not bothering whether I looked stupid or weird or clumsy. I didn’t drink any beer or alcohol as I had enough wine earlier. I drank a non-alcoholic drink called Club Mate, which is made of soy. It tasted weird!

Unfortunately, I did not get to take any pictures as I found it so hard to even stand in one place! Sighs. I met Marie’s Israeli husband and he’s sooooooo not what I imagined him to be. He even had BO. I also saw lesbians kissing. Yuck! The music choices were something too. Some songs I recognized; some I didn’t.

So 3 hours later and we left. Walking in the frigid -10C temperature. This walk felt awfully long…Lol! I reached home around 3.30am, texted mum to say I’m home safe and well, and then I hit the sack.

So that’s my first night out in Berlin. Doesn’t sound so exciting but I had a good time.

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Friday

Friday!

I’m writing this earlier as I know I won’t have the time to update later. There’s the party tonight and God knows what time I’ll reach home. I’m posting this just before I leave my office.

Without re-reading my entry for last Friday, I can’t tell you what I did one week ago. I know it was my first week in Berlin but other than that…hmmm…

So I watched the end of ‘X-Men’ in German last night! Lol! It’s lucky that I’ve watched the movie before so I didn’t need to know what they were saying. Actually, I was watching ‘The Last Song’ before I changed the channel to ‘X-Men’ and although I have also watched that movie before, I couldn’t understand it! Lol! I’ve forgotten what the movie was about. Anyway, thanks to the movie, I slept at 11.30pm. I’d say that’s an improvement from my 8pm dozing off last week.

We had another legal trainees meeting today (there’s one every week) and there was a role play. We were divided into 2 groups: ECCHR and a local organization in Columbia. We basically had to discuss how to develop a working relationship between the 2 organisations who have not worked together before. It was an interesting exercise as it showed us that is was not easy to just develop a working relationship with two organizations at different levels. I was in the local organization.

After that, we made plans for tonight; where to meet, what time, who is going for what. Apparently, the parties here start late. Today’s is supposed to start at 10pm. I’m meeting Bibiana and Linda (from the US) at around 8pm for dinner. Then we’ll go together. Bibiana usually parties on Spain time, which she says usually starts at 11pm – 11.30pm! :s But tonight we’re doing the “earlier” version apparently.

Anyway, boss Wolfgang came to my table this afternoon and said that he wants to have coffee with me, either today or tomorrow!! Arrghh!! He told me not to leave until he came back from his meeting or that we’ll make a coffee date for tomorrow as he leaves just two streets away from me. I hope it’s just casual and nothing too serious that I can’t answer. Gosh….I don’t like representing my organization. I somehow feel like I don’t know much about what we do. Lol! I hope we meet at the office rather than outside, which may take longer. Update: We’re meeting for coffee tomorrow at noon near my place. I asked Claudia what the meeting would be about and she told me that he has a meeting next week with funders who are funding the exchange programme that I’m on now. So he basically wants to know what my first impressions were etc. *phew*

By the way, I found out that Marie is 38 years old and her hubby is 35 (and she speaks Arabic!); and that Annalene (a staff here) is 31 years old and is Albert’s partner (another staff).  Gossip.

So till my next entry tomorrow – on the party, my sightseeing, my coffee date…

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Refugee Centre

It was snowing slightly when Claudia came and picked me up. We took the subway to get to the refugee centre. We bought coffee on the way. The place was very small and so I didn’t take many pictures. Only two.

Claudia went through 5-6 cases on various issues; most were in German but she was kind enough to take the time and explain to me what the cases were about. One funny case was this: this refugee from Azerbajian has sought asylum in Germany with a fake name and address. He even has a wife to which he is not legally married to; only in church. He was a big man, who looked like the fatter version of Sylvester Stallone. He was very flirtatious and even his translator was embarrassed of him. He kept asking me my name and then said I was very beautiful. He said all 3 of us (Claudia, the translator and me) were so beautiful, like roses; he didn’t know how he married his wife!! He even said I looked Indian (and he didn’t even know my full name; just Shakun). When I told him that I was indeed ethnically Indian, he started singing the “Made in India” song. He had such a convoluted story, from being the “most wanted” in Azerbajian and Moldova, to being a champion fighter/boxer. At first it was interesting to hear him, but after awhile, it got stale. He was so proud of his lies etc.

That is just one story. The rest I heard really hit reality as those were the everyday issues that everyday people face, that both you and I don’t usually hear about. It even made me wonder whether there is a refugee centre in Penang!

The session was supposed to end at 1pm but it ended only at like 1.45pm as there was a last minute person. After that, Claudia and I rushed back to the office as she was supposed to have a meeting at 2pm! On the way back, we grabbed some Indian food. J I had chicken and vegetable curry with rice. It was surprisingly good as I expected it to be Germanised! Lol!

After eating lunch at the office, I went to my work space, only to notice that my old trusted boots was breaking at the sole! Looks like I’ll have to buy new boots even sooner! Hmmm…

Oh ya…I talked to Claudia about my trip to London (I told her I was invited and am planning to go in March). She said no problem. I told her that I didn’t want to take advantage and that I did not want to just forget about my responsibilities here. She said she understood and that is why she said it’ll be good if I can go to Hamburg and Brussels. In fact, she said that this trip is such a good opportunity that it would be stupid not to take the advantage and go see places I want. I guess that means it’s a YES! J I’m quite excited! I’m not sure what I’m going to be doing for all the February weekends, but at least for March I know! Haha! Even my mum agrees with me not to travel alone to different countries; not at these times. But London should be fine since I have people there. J

It looks like I will be going to the party tomorrow night. So let’s see. I hope to take many pictures (and also be in them)! 

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Rested and not very cold

I don’t know why but I was somehow so sleepy last night. I was watching television and the next thing I knew, I had dozed off. When I woke up, it was nearly 10pm; so I switched off the TV and went to sleep; only getting up at 7.10am today. Hmmm...

When I got up though, I felt rested (not that I was tired or anything coz I haven’t been doing much at all) and not so cold! I looked out the window, and although there was snow, it wasn’t as much as yesterday. I went online, chatted with my sis and FB-ed with my colleagues back in Penang. They will be on leave tomorrow as it’s a public holiday. How nice!! That’s one thing I miss about Penang – the public holidays! Here in Berlin, after New Year, the next public holiday is at the end of March for Good Friday! And by then, I’ll be home already! The Penangites will also be on leave next Monday! Grrr...

Anyway, I came to Berlin with two pairs of boots, thinking that I would wear them alternately. I noticed the other day that the insides of the brand new boots that I bought before coming here looks like it’s almost worn out and it’s only the second week! So I decided that I will leave it behind at the end of my trip as I’m convinced that it will only last until then. Then this morning, I noticed that the sole of my old trusted boots is also wearing out!! It looks like I’ll have to leave/throw both of them at the end of the stay; and it looks like shopping for a new pair seems inevitable. But I’m not going to rush out and buy one just yet. One good thing is that I’ll have extra space in my luggage! Lol!

At the office, I had my meeting with Claudia. We discussed about our mini-trip to the refugee centre tomorrow. I’m quite excited about it as I’ll be seeing a different side of their work and also different people. I hope I get to take some pictures. It’s a half-hour bus ride to get to the place, so I hope I see a slightly different side of Berlin. I also got my mini research project. Right now I have about two weeks to come up with the paper, though the deadline is adjustable. I’m quite happy with what I have to do, so let’s see. J

There is also this Solidarity-Party for refugees and migrants this Friday night and apparently it’ll start about 10pm. It’s a way for the refugees to earn some money to fund their centre. I want to go but I’ll have to see what the other trainees have planned as some will be going to a meeting (which is in German) before the party. Let’s see if I make it to my first party in Berlin!

I had a very healthy lunch of a salmon-egg-cheese-lettuce sandwich. Everything was nice except the salmon!! I thought I’d give it another try since I didn’t like it the last time; but I maintain my stand. No salmon!  

At 3.45pm, when I looked up from my laptop and out the window, it was snowing!!! I must ask someone to take a picture of me in the snow; if not today, soon.

The other Claudia (Clod) came today. Incidentally, there are two people with the same first names: one who’s sort of like my supervisor and now this other one who is only part-time as she travels from Munich. They have come up with a solution to this same name problem: my supervisor will be called Claudia and the other will be known as Claud (though they spell it Clod).

Anyway…Clod is practically my neighbour. She lives one street away from me; basically within walking distance. She’s the one who offered to show me around Berlin and I’m taking her up on that offer. We have plans to go out this weekend; although the timing will have to depend on what time we get back from Friday’s party. She self-declared herself to be my tourist guide. J How sweet is that!

Now that I have this weekend set, I’m wondering what I should do next weekend. My hsemate suggested that I go to Hackescher Market just to look see. Maybe I’ll do that. Or if I can get a long weekend, maybe I’ll go to London. Let’s see coz I also don’t want to take advantage of their good hospitality. After all, they are paying me to be here. I don’t think they’ll mind as I have been told that if I want a long weekend, I can take it; but still…Even if I don’t go to Amsterdam or Poland, I should go to London since there are people there and I won’t be alone. So here’s to planning...

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Cold cold day....

I should have suspected that something was wrong (or going to be wrong) when I felt cold last night. I am usually quite warm in my room but somehow, yesterday was different.

I woke up this morning once again to snow covered rooftops, cars and walkways; and it was cold despite the heating in my room! It wasn’t snowing though. The temperature when I left my apartment today was -7C! By the time I reached the office, my hands and feet were frozen and painful! I had to take off my boots and walk around the office in my socks for awhile just to let the blood flow. After that, it was ok. I even bought breakfast and lunch just so that I would not have to go out!

As I said in my previous entries, only my hands are a problem. I haven’t found a solution on how to keep my hands warm. Jemimah told me to carry a warm drink around but how many warm drinks am I going to carry around? Claudia brought some thermal tops for me, since the temperature is dropping. I asked her how long this would last and she said that it could last all of January (thank God, January is almost over) and possibly through February (!!); although she thinks that the weather MAY change for the better. I hope so too!! She said a bit more snow and we can go snowboarding!

I have been eating lunch by myself since I am now in the other part of the office (the office is divided into lofts). They have 2 lofts here and I happen to be in the old one, where the bigwigs are. I can easily join the other trainees in the other loft, but they tend to eat fast and go back to work right after. Such workaholics! Not my kind of lunch time. :S I’d rather eat alone and just browse the net. Lol!

So I am done with the difficult article that I started to read. I cheated and just scanned through the last pages. I started and finished a second paper on ‘Transitional Justice’ which was so much easier to understand and relate to! I guess I’m just not Harvard material. :p

As soon as I reached home today, the first thing I did after keeping all my stuff was make tea. I needed something to keep me warm!! I don’t know why but today I really felt cold. I really hope the weather doesn’t go worse. Even now, as I am typing this, I’m only using one hand!

By the way…I switched on the radio last night out of curiosity, and I found a channel that plays English songs!! Woo!! I listened to it while I read. It was so nice to hear something familiar, although the DJs were speaking in German. They played a blend of modern and old (read: Carpenters) songs; which is ok since I am also the old school type.

Tomorrow’s another day. I hope the weather is nice. 

Week 2 begins

When I got up this morning and looked out the window, everything was covered in snow! Compared to yesterday where everything looked dark and bleak, everything was white today!

After changing, eating my breakfast and going online, I looked out the window again and noticed that it was snowing! Not heavy snowing but it was still noticeable.

Bibiana ran late today so I had to go to the office myself. I missed the first bus as I was waiting for her; and so I had to wait for about 20 minutes before the next bus arrived. More people started to gather and I was praying that the bus would not be packed. I reached the office at nearly 10am; that would have been almost late if I were back in Penang.

Since I have a great view from my work space, I spent a considerable amount of time looking out. It snowed continuously. Marie informed me that she would not be able to make plans with me this weekend as her family is coming, so I have to wait till Wednesday, to see if Claudia will be able to make it. But then again, if it continues to snow like it did today, I’m not sure if it will be possible to go out this weekend. Let’s see.

I checked my emails at the office and went over my presentation again. I hate giving presentations! I also met the big boss, Wolfgang. Seems he’s a dominant and demanding guy to his employees, although he’s quite friendly to the trainees. He just got back from Argentina and said he’s a bit shocked at the weather here. Well…imagine me! Anyway, I gave my presentation in the afternoon, answered a few questions and then showed them the PPT video. After that, everyone was silent. Lol! I don’t know if it’s because they were awed or just didn’t know what to say. Haha! Anyhow, I’d say it went well. I don’t think I sounded stupid or bimbo-ish.

I’ll be spending my time at the office tomorrow reading. Since my presentation is over, it’s back to reading. The first article that I chose to read: The International Human Rights Movement: Part of the Problem by David Kennedy (Harvard Human Rights Journal) was not easy! Still not done with it! Thank God Claudia said even she gave up coz she didn’t understand it. I thought it was me being so rusty and blur! She even asked if I wanted to stay home just to read and I said no way! I don’t want to bring work home. I don’t do that in Penang; I’m not about to start doing it in Berlin!

The walk home from the bus stop today was cold! It was -5C. I couldn’t wait to get back to my room. I wasn’t shivering or anything but the thought that a sort of warm room was waiting for me was enough to make me walk faster.

Sighs….was listening to music half way and the soundcard got problematic again! Looks like I have to get it checked out before it gets worse. Hmmm…

Well…that’s all for today.

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50 Days

As of tomorrow, there are 50 days to go! I know I should stop counting down the days till I go home, but like I said I can’t help it. :p

Anyway, it’s Sunday and for the first time since I arrived here, I didn’t get up at 3am, 4am and 5am. Instead, the first time I opened my eyes, it was past 7am! Lol! I credit this to the fact that I was so happy to be able to talk with my family yesterday. Despite it being like 2am in Malaysia and they had just gotten back from work, they still took the time to chat with me. Awwww!!! And thank God, the soundcard worked!!

When I got up this morning, I didn’t immediately jump for the laptop! Instead, I laid in bed and read a book. Then, I decided to shower and wash my hair where I proceeded to lose like half my head of hair! Or at least it felt that way. I lost more hair when I dried my hair using the hair dryer but once I put on some leave-in conditioner, no more hair dropped. I really hope that I don’t return to Penang bald!! Plus my scalp is so dry I need to get baby oil to apply on it.

I’ve been thinking about how I am coping with the cold here. So far, I am doing quite well. After layering up or using my hsemate’s term “onion effect”, I am pretty much comfortable. The only part that is difficult about this cold weather is how fast my hands get frozen, even with gloves on. Mum told me to wear two pairs of gloves; as it is, wearing one pair is difficult enough, imagine wearing two! I can hardly open the door with the key while wearing gloves. My legs and body are okay; it’s just the hands! Mum told me to be careful as I might get frost bite!

When I was buying winter stuff back home, my mum told me to just expect the worst. And so I did. I imagined myself cowering in a corner, in layer upon layer of clothing, trying very hard to be warm. I imagined myself wearing like 3 socks and still feeling cold. Lo and behold, after spending sooooo much to buy proper winter wear, it was all worth it! Of course, what I packed is not even half of my wardrobe back home, which means I’ll be recycling my outfits for the next two months! Thank God no one can see my second layer of clothing since the pull-overs/sweaters cover them.

Weird as this may sound, I also like the idea/practice of wearing an outer coat and scarf, and then having to take them off when at home or in the office. Feels very Western! Lol! And for the next two months, I’ll enjoy this practice before having to say goodbye to it. I can’t imagine doing this back home. People will think I’m mad especially since it’s so hot!

Another thing that got me thinking was, now that I have experienced winter and make that MINUS degree temperatures; will my body now be immune to the “normal” cold of the air-cond? Will I no longer need a blanket at home or even a light jacket in the office where the air-cond is usually at 16C? I doubt that. I’m pretty sure after a while of being at home, my body is going to go back to its usual self.

I also Skyped with Singapore mum today and after a short while, the soundcard became problematic again! Haiz!!

Anyway, I went around the neighbourhood with my hsemate today. She showed me all the little eateries around the block. Everything seems so near even though we were walking. I doubt I walk this much back home. There’s a Chinese and even an Indian restaurant nearby. I actually think I could get used to living in a place like this with so many things nearby!

There’s this really nice eating spot just 2 doors down my place and now that I’ve met the person managing the place, I think I’m going to get all my food from there! They have a weekly menu and it sounds good. I had tortellini mit schinken-sahnesoße (tortellini with ham and cream sauce) in that place today and it was quite good. In fact, the portion was big and I tapau-ed the balance. I’ll either eat it for dinner or lunch tomorrow! I’m so happy to have found these little places coz it’ll mean I don’t have to cook. And it’s cheap! Lol!

Later in the day, I chatted with Jemimah, one of my sister’s 6 best friends. She’s studying in UK right now. She said that she might be coming over to Germany next month but she’s not sure if it’s Munich or Berlin. Anyhow, we started chatting and discussing about traveling. She’s invited me to go over to London and even told me her free weekends. It’s a really nice gesture which I hope I’ll be able to take her up on. I’ll have to check if my free weekends coincide with hers and hopefully, I get to go!

Right now, I may have plans for the coming weekend (still to be confirmed but pretty much OK) but I am not sure what I’ll be doing on my other weekends here. I’m beginning to experience what I always see on TV; foreigners who always go away or have something interesting to do during the weekend. J

That’s all for this Sunday. It’s back to the office tomorrow where I have to give a presentation…:s 

--

One week!

 So it’s day 7 of my stay here and it’s Saturday!

I got up at my usual time and just lazed around in bed for awhile. Then I texted my sis and asked if she was going to be online so we could chat. I checked my emails and FB, and then sis and I spoke for nearly 2 hours, updating each other of the past week’s events, even though we email each other every day. It’s just nice to hear a familiar voice. J

Towards the end of the call, sis couldn’t hear me properly and Skype put up an alert that the soundcard couldn’t be detected! I panicked. I ended the call with the promise that we’ll try and Skype again today or tomorrow. I then switched off the laptop, washed up, changed, got my breakfast ready and re-started the laptop. I checked the sound and it wasn’t so clear. I used the headset and checked but there was still something wrong! Oh no!! I want to be able to Skype with my family and friends!! I wrote to Rosmah (my colleague back home who is in-charge of the PCs), asking what’s wrong and if it’s ok to get someone here check it. L

I had cornflakes, muesli, oats and chocolate cuts with milk for breakfast. My stomach has been making weird noises since I arrived; and no…it’s not hunger pangs. It sounds like my food is digesting but it’s really loud. I sometimes wonder whether people can hear it! It sounds like I have small birds in my stomach. :s

The sun was up at about noon and it was shining through my bedroom window and onto my bed. I was so happy as it was BRIGHT! I knew it wouldn’t be warm but still…to see the sun. So I decided to go for a walk and when I stepped out the door….I saw the sign that reads the temperature. It read: -4C (later I found out that it was actually -6C)! Nevertheless, I still went for a walk round the block (I bumped into my hsemate outside and she said we’ll both go for another walk tomorrow and maybe have coffee somewhere) and took some pictures. By the time I went back, my hands were so frozen, it was painful! So much for the sun!!

I met Anna (my colleague who lives nearby) and her bf Stephen for coffee at a café near my place. We talked for about 1.5 hours. When I returned back to my room, my hsemate had bought a thicker comforter for me, longer gloves and also containers so I could carry food to work! How sweet is that!!

And then…the best part of today: I spoke with my family!!! Somehow…the soundcard worked and I managed to talk to my sis again, and mum and dad!!! It’s just so good to hear their voices especially since mum and dad are hardly online unlike my Singapore parents. J

There are 51 days left of my trip starting tomorrow. Although I should be relishing my time here, it’s so hard not to feel homesick. A colleague and I are planning to go around Berlin next weekend, so I’m quite excited about that! But the week at work has to pass first. Lol! The people here so far have really been kind and sweet. In fact, Claudia called me earlier asking if I had enough long underwear because the weather has become really cold. I feel so grateful and blessed to have these people and help around me. I really will think twice before saying no to helping a foreigner who comes to Penang. That’s one of the first lessons I’ve learned since being here.

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Day 6

 So it’s Day 6! It should be day 5 but I’m counting it as Day 6 as I’ve been here since Sunday. Blek!

Before I slept last night, I decided to watch TV and there was CSI: Miami. It was so funny to watch it in German. I thought I’d be able to follow the show, but in the end, I decided it was just too much. Horacio speaking in German even though his mouth is moving to English words! Lol! 

Anyway, it’s Friday and that means I have the weekend approaching in just a few hours!

So I think my body is almost over its jet lag and I’ve come to realize and accept that my weird waking hours are actually normal for me. Lol! So now, I just go back to sleep whenever I wake up, and then REALLY get out of bed at 7am. I go online and hope to chat with my sis for a bit before I wash up and get ready for work. It takes me about 20 minutes or so to get ready. Then I either continue chatting with my sis or browse FB while eating breakfast.

I felt much rested today. I guess I’m getting used to it or it could be that I know that the weekend is near. Lol! I don’t have specific plans for the weekend just as yet. What I know is that I’ll be doing my laundry and cleaning up my room. It’s only been 6 short days but I need to at least tidy my room. I’ll probably meet Anna for coffee or lunch on Saturday, depending on the weather, as like I said in my other entries, there’s the prediction of it going as low as -10C.

There’s a Turkish/flea market on Sunday. I might just take a walk and see what it’s all about. Like Singapore, people here tend to walk a lot and I am not used to it. It could be because I’m using the public transport here instead of driving everywhere like I do back home. I guess Vay can be my driver from now on. Lol!

I gave some of my colleagues the key chains that I brought with me from Penang. They are all so appreciative as some don’t even know where Malaysia is, let alone Penang. J My housemate also liked the small bag with Penang icons that I gave to her.

To be honest, I really didn’t do much at work today. I started reading though. I checked my presentation which I’m supposed to give next Monday afternoon, checked my emails and browsed the net. Talk about procrastination. I guess this is what Malaysia and my office fears about giving employees too much flexibility. I’m not saying that my work will suffer but still…the mentality...the thought that you are not doing your work when you’re “supposed to”. Hmmm….

I had my first cup of coffee this evening. Nescafe! Lol! I was advised to drink tea, wine and beer to keep me warm; but I have yet to buy or drink any of that yet. Soon...

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Day 5

 Day 5

I started Day 5 as usual. Waking up at odd hours. But then, I realized that it is actually normal for me coz even back home, when I sleep at midnight or 1am, I still get up at 3am, 4am, 5am; just to check if my parents are home safely and also because my body is used to it. So I guess my body is slowly adapting to my new situation.

I checked and replied emails and chatted with my sis and had a sudden homesickness feeling. And then I looked at my work plan, went through what I would be doing for the next 7-8 weeks and told myself that I’ll be occupied and before I know it, it’ll be time to leave.

So, I spent the day at work checking emails, chatting a bit on FB and researching. I haven’t started reading the thick file that was given to me. I just have no mood.  Thank God I was told to take my time but of course I will not abuse that privilege. I do intend to start reading it but I just need to tell my head to do it! Lol!

I had another chat with Claudia today and we were discussing about me meeting PAN AP partners in Hamburg and Brussels. If there is funding and the partners have the time and can provide accommodation, I may stay there for a night or two. This will probably happen in Feb but nothing is confirmed. Let’s see.

Marie and Claudia wanted to take me for coffee and just hang out during the weekend. But I told them that I might be meeting Anna; and I also wanted to do laundry and stuff. Marie said we could go to the Nefertiti museum and so I said maybe next week; especially if they are forecasting the temperature to go down to -10C!

I hope I have busy weekends, filled with interesting things to do, even if it’s only in Germany. I understand that the weather is not necessarily very good for sightseeing and I can understand the people's reluctance to go out in this weather. Heck, even I prefer to just stay home!

There was a screening of a short film today at 4.30 which lasted for an hour; followed by a short discussion on it.

By the time I left the office it was 6pm and Bibiana offered to follow me to get dinner since I can’t speak German. I got a pizza and she even walked me home! I kept telling her that I can now go to work myself but she said I am a good influence on her as with me, she HAS to get up early and go to work; and she has more time! J

It’s finally Friday tomorrow and I’m excited to see what the weekend has in store for me. I really hope it’s not the -10C weather, for I swear I’ll just stay in bed all day.

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Day 4

 I managed to sleep at 10pm last night coz my hse mate was talking so much. Nevertheless, I still got up at 3am, 4am, 5am. In the end, I decided to just get up and go online.

At work, I got my own work space today with a nice view albeit there is a cemetery right in front. Lol! I get to see the road, with snow covered roof tops and hear the passing of ambulances or police cars. I was also given the office keys. Hmmm....now that says something about the trust they have in their employees whether new or old.

I still can't believe that I am walking, seeing and feeling snow!! :-) 

Anyway, I chatted with Marie (who's married to a Middle Eastern) a bit and was talking to her about my return flight time etc. Then she told me that since it is my first time in Europe and I don’t know when I would be back, I should really take the opportunity to go around. And if I want, I can ask for a long weekend and travel to Paris or Amsterdam; without having to replace those days! I just have to notify them in advance. Wow! What a change from Malaysia. But then again, I am not an employee here so I guess they are pretty flexible.

Also, she said that she and I could go around together or in a small group. I mentioned that I was a bit hesitant to ask the people here as they have been here for quite awhile and seem reluctant to do so. But she said that there is good company and they might want to follow. We could take a day trip on a Saturday. Now I am excited! She also suggested she can take me around even to the museums!!

I’ll really have to think about it and also my finances. Although many people have told me to use this opportunity wisely, I must take care of my finances. Apparently, I can get a return flight to Paris for as low as Euro100!!

There was also a moot court session this morning which lasted about 3 hours. I was just supposed to sit in as it was my first meeting, but I ended up giving one of the arguments for the defense. Sadly, we lost. Lol! I actually felt intimidated being in this meeting with the legal trainees as some of them have PHDs and some are actually working on their PHDs. They seemed so well learned and know their stuff. Thank God I could follow their discussion! I don’t whether it’s me doubting or underestimating myself or what.

Also, I forgot to mention that one colleague is actually cute (or at least I think so); unfortunately he is married to a HUSBAND! They other guys in the office are not really that nice; there is one who actually looks like Andrea Bocelli. On my walks to the bus stop, I’ve seen quite a few guys but none are that attractive. Maybe it’s just German men! Lol! Another female colleague of mine looks like one of those twin girls from the movie "White Chicks".One also looks like Julianne Hough! 

I also went grocery shopping today with Bibiana. I really owe her for she has been following me to work every morning despite her usual routine of going to work a bit later. She’s really been helpful. Although she doesn’t look it, but she is. She’s from Spain by the way.

I suddenly had this fear this morning that I am losing weight and so I’m determined to eat well. After all, I’m in Germany and they supposedly have rich food. I SHOULD put on weight during this trip!!

-- 

Day 3

It’s Day 3 and I’m still suffering from jetlag as I slept at 8pm Berlin time last night, and subsequently got up at 3am, 4am and 5am. Tried going back to sleep but I gave up in the end and went online instead. I can’t tell you how grateful I am for WIFI at home. I chatted with my sis for awhile then went back to sleep for about 2 hrs.

I got up, changed, ate a banana and my balance half sandwich from the day before, then it was off to the bus stop to meet my colleague Bibiana. We took the bus to work and then I had about a 1.5 hr meeting with Claudia, the person in charge here. We spoke about my work plan, our expectations etc. I also mentioned my fear of disappointing them in case I fell short of their expectations and that I don’t want that to happen; but I was reassured that they will not have exaggerated expectations of me as in the end, they want me to say that this opportunity was worth it. They also have very flexible working hours compared to Malaysia; and since I am not an employee, I can pretty much come and go as I please. I personally want to stick to a routine of 9.30/10am and leave by 5/530, but it will depend on whether there are gatherings or after office hours drinks. It gets dark early here but I still feel safer to be at home when it’s dark. They have trust in their employees that work will be done so they are not so regimented and fussy when it comes to work hours.

Right now, I have a lot to read and also a presentation to prepare for next week, so I am pretty occupied for the next few days. *deep breath* Let’s see how it goes.

I’m slowly learning my way from the apartment to the office and back; and hopefully soon, I’ll learn my way around a bit more. I’m not thinking of traveling to other countries yet. I’m sure there is a lot of stuff to do in Berlin itself. I especially want to see the Berlin Wall area and also maybe a few museums. But I need to find someone who is willing to follow me around. Right now, since most of the people here have stayed in Berlin for awhile, they don’t seem so willing to go. Hmmm….and I don’t intend to travel by myself no matter how safe it is.

By the way, I had sort of German lunch today as Claudia prepared something and shared with me. Some sort of dish with carrots, turnips, potatoes, some sort of Spanish rice/seeds and a sauce made of chick pea and curry (sort of like hummus). It was ok. Edible. J

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Day 2

Day 2

Joe, a volunteer from the UK came and fetched me. We walked to the bus station where he explained to me how to get to the office. It was snowing by the way!

At the office, I met everyone. Then we all went for lunch, after which, Joe and Bibiana from Spain took me to get my monthly bus pass and also showed me around the neighbourhood. It was -2C and my hands were frozen!! Thank God I felt warm bodily. But my nose was runny! They showed me around the neighbourhood a bit.

After that, they dropped me back home as I was still a bit tired. I still had no appetite but I did eat half a sandwich at lunch. I Skyped with mum, dad and sis and it was so good to hear from them! Miss them so much!! Then I had a video call with my second parents from Singapore! So good to have such instant and free communication these days.

My body is still a bit hay wire but I should be able to settle in a few days’ time. It feels kind of lonely as everyone knows everyone. Also, they’ve been here for some months now, so I guess they’ve built the relationship. I’ll try hard not to be an outsider but at the same time, I want to stick to what I feel is comfortable and safe.

They have been telling me that Berlin is safe even when it’s dark and since I am a woman. But nevertheless, I do not want to take the chance. I want to go around Berlin, but I’ll have to find company as I do not intend to travel alone in a foreign country.

That’s day two. I officially start softly tomorrow and I hope I do well.

 p.s. Not sure if I'll have a daily update. Let's see how I feel at the end of the day. 

Leaving Home

After having two farewells for my trip to Germany, I spent my last day here finishing my packing and buying last minute stuff. Then I spent the afternoon in the shop with my family, all the while trying to be strong and not break down.

I went home early, thinking that I would sleep early as I had to wake up at 4am the next day. I was wrong. After checking my bags and then having my bath, it was midnight. Surprisingly, I could sleep; in fact, I slept quite well and even woke up only when my sis’s alarm rang!

At the airport, it was quick work of wrapping and strapping my bag, dropping off my bag at the check point and then I was ready to leave. We had about maybe 20 minutes together before I had to go in. I was adamant that I would not cry or have tears in my eyes. My sis beat me to it as she had tears in her eyes when we hugged. I wanted to be strong and so I did not break down, although I was soooo tempted to cancel the trip!! What an utter waste it would have been.

The flight to KL itself was horrible! As it was cloudy, the plane was shaky and my heart kept jumping up and down in its chamber! I kept clutching the seat handle and praying!! I wondered if my flight to Amsterdam would be the same. God forbid no!

Upon reaching the airport and getting my gate number and going through immigration, I changed terminals. Most of the cafes were full but I managed to find one ‘Malaysian Recipe Café” which was quite empty. I had a coffee as I had no appetite to eat. Unfortunately, the laptop could not connect to the WIFI so I couldn’t go online.

Thank God for the HP!!! God…I’m going to miss my family soooo damn much. But at the same time, I knew this is a great opportunity and not many people are lucky enough to experience it. I hope I enjoy myself while at the same time, the two months passes quickly! J

The flight to Amsterdam was soooo long that towards the end of it, I felt sick. In fact, I didn’t even eat the second meal that was served. Despite being advised to stay awake, I slept most of the time. The cold hit me the moment I stepped out of the plane in Amsterdam. I rushed to the immigration where I was questioned and my bag was searched. Nothing illegal was found.

By the time I took the Berlin flight, I just wanted to get over it. I felt sick and was ready to crash.

Marie met me at the airport and we went straight to the apartment. The owner, a lady was nice and friendly. It’s a really small apartment; literally 5 rooms only including the kitchen. There is no hall. But my room is big and comfy. I have two cupboards, a full length mirror, a bed, a TV, a radio and even a 3 seat dining table.

After going over the formalities, I was left alone. I washed up, texted my parents and just went to bed. 

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2013 - Year of Adventure

A very belated 'Happy New Year' goes out to all those who read my blog! 2012 is now a memory and as we pass the 10th day in January, I can only imagine what a year it'll be!

As I mentioned in my last entry of 2012, I'm starting 2013 with a *bang*! In just two days' time, I'll be off on my first solo journey, out of the Asian continent into Europe! Woweeee!!! If someone had told me that I would be going to Europe, specifically Berlin, this year and that I would be staying there for TWO MONTHS, I would laugh! Me? Travel to Berlin? Yeah right! But...as fate would have it, here I am, trying to finish packing (by rolling all my sweaters, jackets, socks) and trying hard not to have my luggage overweight. It's winter in Germany now, and I HATE the cold! How I'll survive despite wearing layers is something I'll update you on in a few days' time. :p

Just like how I was in India, my blog would probably be VERY active. :-) And also my Facebook.

Right after Berlin, I'll be off to Manila for about a week. I hope I would have recovered from my jet-lag by the time I fly off again. So far, those are the two travels I have within the first quarter of this year. I have no idea though, if I would be traveling again further into the year. Ever since I joined my organisation, I have traveled quite a bit, not as much as my other colleagues; but then, when I do travel, it's usually for long periods i.e. one month in India, nearly two weeks in Bintulu and then another two weeks in India again. This time, it's two months!!

As much as I am excited and nervous about this trip, I'm also dreading the homesickness that I will no doubt feel. Plus the 7 hour difference between the countries is no help! I'm pretty sure I'll have tears in my eyes when I say goodbye to my family. Thank God my room has WIFI. This is indeed a very good opportunity and it would be such a waste for me to turn it down simply because of the fear of leaving the nest. So many people have told me to just enjoy myself to the maximum and hopefully return with "someone". Lol!

Well....let's see how I cope and adapt. I'm pretty sure I'll be ok but then again, I have this inherent fear of people not liking me; of me not having any friends; of me being lonely...

People have also advised me to travel to the neighbouring countries like Poland. But that will depend on whether I have enough money with me. Although it does make sense to go to these places since I am already there, I don't see the point of spending money that I can't afford and then suffer when I am back home. Let's just see how it goes. After all, I have two months....

And so...till my next entry from Berlin!!