We're Slowly Getting there

They say that a relationship is a journey; and like any journey, no matter how well it is planned, there will be some kinks or hurdles along the way. It is how we deal/handle those kinks that will decide whether the journey continues or ends.

So, a little more than two months in and we're slowly progressing in our journey together. We talk every day; we meet every week; and time just seems to be passing.

Yes, yes...the relationship is still very new and as cliche as it sounds, we seem to be clicking, connecting...on every level. We're at a point where we are jinx-ing (that's when we say/think of the same thing at the same time) each other on almost every other sentence. Just the other day he said that very soon, we will just have to look at each other and we'll know what the other is thinking.

Of course, we're still in the "honeymoon" period and the 'high' will probably soon dim. But as time passes, there is also this sense of calm which comforts me; encourages me; makes me smile; and most importantly, I am positive and happy!

We don't meet daily, though I know it is something that he would very much like. Nevertheless, he is accepting and understanding. My heart still skips; and the excitement grows whenever our date days approach. And when we do meet, the time spent is more fulfilling and appreciated.

He has been very vocal and open about his feelings for me; while I am the total opposite. Surprisingly (and this is according to him), my actions speaks louder than my words. So I must be doing something right. :-)

Very recently, I had a short moment of anxiety where I questioned myself on whether I was giving enough; was I reciprocating what was given fully and wholeheartedly? I wasn't doubting my feelings for him; but rather, doubting the depth of it. If anything, I just want him to feel as happy and loved as I feel. I am secure and confident in what I want so I knew that this was not going to affect anything. But I felt that it needed to be addressed. Of course, it didn't help that I was also PMS-ing. So I was probably on an emo-coaster. (Poor him will probably have to deal with this occasionally).

The moment didn't last very long; for I talked to him about it (I'm so lucky that he is open and understanding and a good listener). He reassured me, I reassured him and we are fine. If possible, I think my heart is fuller than before. And with him being away for nearly 3 weeks, I think the missing him part was rearing its head.

We have yet to reach the 3-month period; and yet, I feel that we have moved past a small kink. Maybe our emotions are growing onto another level. I don't know.

What I do know is that, things have changed for the better. And to me, this is a sign that we're moving in the right direction.

So to US...let's continue moving ahead!! Looking forward to more positive changes and growth.

<3 nbsp="" p="">

10 March 2018. 9:44pm

So it finally happened after a long time, and people are saying "Finally!".

Someone has caught my heart. Like a movie, we met on the night before my cousin's wedding last July. He was my cousin's classmate. He was eating when I first arrived at the hotel; and amidst the introductions, I had inadvertently misheard his name. So for a couple of hours that night, I called him Kenny. We did not talk much that night; but rather just mingled around as the night was dominated by cousins instead of friends. On the wedding day itself, we just about managed to take a couple of pictures and exchange phone numbers (now thinking back, I wonder if he purposely asked for my phone number with the pretense of asking me to send him our picture...hmmm).

A couple of days after the wedding, he texted asking for the picture; and so began what I thought was a new friendship. Alas, one month in and "Kenny" went MIA! I put his "disappearance" down to him being not interested.

I did not really think much about him over the next couple of months, and even thought of deleting his number. And yet somehow, I never did.

Come Christmas, I sent greetings to all my Christian friends, including "Kenny" (though he was not exactly a friend). Lo and behold, THAT was the start or rather continuance of the friendship. Earlier when we first started texting, he asked if it would be ok for him to text and chat. This time, he asked outright if we could have coffee/drinks some time. I said sure. And then I panicked.

To be honest, I was not instantly attracted to him. When we first met, he had long hair, and he was *ahem* short (he is actually my height but I just have this thing about guys having to be taller than me...so...).

As we continued chatting over text, we finally agreed on a day and time for our "coffee" which turned out to be dinner. The days leading up to the dinner had me worrying and panicking. I wondered if I had made the right decision; and all the what-ifs started hanging around in my head. Up to that Friday afternoon, my stomach was still in knots. To say I was nervous that night would be an understatement. I just hoped that the nervousness could not be seen. We spent nearly 5 hours together, and while I can't say that the nerves went away, I did slowly begin to relax.

That dinner was the start of something that turned special. We started chatting every night, and one dinner soon turned into meeting up almost every weekend. The daily texts continued and soon, I began to have mushy feelings. I didn't really trust myself and the "feelings", and also, I wasn't sure if I was correctly reading the signals that I was getting from him. I had misinterpreted those kinds of feelings before, and I didn't want a repeat.

But alas, before I could continue analyzing the signals, "Kenny" told me that he was crazy about me. I was shocked; simply because it was so fast. At that point, I still wasn't crazy about him, but he was certainly growing on me. I told him this, and he was totally understanding about it, telling me that I had time; and that he would wait. He was and is always open about his feelings and his past. And so, I did not have to wonder. If I wanted to know something, I could simply ask, knowing that he will tell me because he had given me that permission. Plus, he is my cousin's close friend, if anything; I could always ask her, and he doesn't have a problem with that.

We shared many personal stories with each other; my concerns, fears, his history, heartbreak. He was not only understanding, but also very reassuring.

Soon, I met two of his closest friends, whom I must say are really nice people. I'm glad that he has them in his life; people with whom he can just be himself with, no worries, no pretenses. The four of us had dinner once; and last Saturday, we met the wife again for breakfast. I'm happy and very glad to say that we got along well.

And so...after spending more than 12 hours together on Saturday, "Kenny" asked if I would get into a relationship with him. We were driving down Batu Ferringhi and he nervously asked this while at a traffic light. I was quiet for a while, just taking in all the emotions that were coursing through me, while trying to normalise my racing heart. I then took his hand in mine, and said yes/ok (I actually can't remember what I said but it was in the affirmative). That was at 9:44pm on 10 March 2018.

So there you go everyone. I'm officially in a relationship, which means many people's prayers have been answered! Lol! And when people find out, the reaction is "Finally!".

"Kenny's" a romantic, so romantic to the point that I have told him on numerous occasions that he is making me a diabetic! But...that is him and that is part of how he caught my heart. He has, at numerous times, made my heart skip, not one but a couple of heart beats. I'm not romantic per se; I can't do the special dinner, surprise gift thing. So I guess we're balanced. Ying and Yang as he says. We're on the same wavelength on almost everything that our thoughts are so in sync it is kind of creepy! We haven't started finishing each other's sentences yet, but I think it's only a matter of time before that happens.

Introducing him as my boyfriend for the first time yesterday was awkward. There is that hesitant, shy feeling which makes me want to just run and hide. But I better get used to it. Our journey has just begun and I'm excited, nervous, content...and HAPPY!

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"Kenny's" real name by the way is Benedict Justin. And he has the cutest dimples! *grin*