HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

22 years ago, on August 15th 1990, I became a big sister for the third time. After the births of my two brothers, I was now a big sister a.k.a. akah, to a baby GIRL! I just want to wish this "princess", "chimpu", "jelly cheeks" and the list of nicknames just go on and on and on...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Love you lots and may we fight, beat, pinch, pull hair and call each other names for many more years to come! MUAX!!!!

When

When bad things happen or when tragedy strikes, the first question that comes to mind is WHY. Why did this happen? Why did this happen to me? Why did it not happen to someone else? Why?

Ever since I started working almost 5 years ago, and from the experiences that I have had to go through the past few years, I have had some of my own WHYs. Why does it seem easier for other people? Why can't my life be like that? Why am I in this situation?

But of late, I'm beginning to ask a different question. WHEN? When will all this end? When will I finally be able to breathe a sigh of relief? When will I be able to stop worrying? Just WHEN.

Rather than dwell on the WHYs, I guess it's good that I'm now at WHEN. Maybe I've overcome my self-pity (why me why me why me) and it's a signal that it's time I started looking forward. Looking for answers that I hope are there. Somewhere.

Right now, I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. A few months ago, I thought I did. But I guess what I saw was just a hallucination. A dream that I thought was achievable soon. I had hope to achieve something by the time I turned 25, but nothing spectacular happened. Now, being two years away from being 30, I'm still waiting or rather hoping for a miracle to happen. Unfortunately, it's not something that I can do alone. And...I'm not talking about getting married. That's like the furthest thing on my mind.

The WHERE is here. I'm at peace with the WHY. It is the WHO, who needs to wake up and solve the WHAT. 

All I need is...The WHEN....

Double Celebration

So I've accepted the fact that I'm becoming the type of person that updates her blog only once a month. My last entry was in May and now that a month has passed, I'm back for another entry.

This entry is centred on the most recent double celebration (read: it just happened over the weekend). As fate would have it, Trish's birthday and mine are just one day apart. And since we found out about it yearsssss ago...birthday celebrations have doubled.

Last Saturday, since Kiran was back, the four of us (Kiran, Vay, Trish and me) decided to go to Hard Rock. It took us nearly two hours just to reach the hotel!! Not only is it the holiday period, it was also the weekend! Of course, Hard Rock was packed and having no prior reservation, we were lucky that we managed to get a table. Nachos, Mac and Cheese and Pizza was our dinner.

At 10.30pm, a band from the Philippines - Tiempo - started their set and although not as fantastic as some bands I've seen, they were entertaining. Trish had the hots for the lead singer, while Vay and I thought the saxophonist had a great body! Lol! At midnight, the band serenaded Trish with 'Happy Birthday' (we had earlier passed a message to them requesting this). :-) We left Hard Rock at 2am after sitting through the band's 3-sets.

The next day was spent at home as there was a celebration at the shop later that night. Dad ordered some food, a customer fried mee and Robert bought my cake and 5 litres of wine!

At midnight, dad played the guitar while everyone sang for me! (Just two hours earlier, Trish cut her cake while we sang). As Vay had work the next day, we left the shop after cutting the cake.

All in all, I had a great time this past weekend. Today, which is my real birth day, will be spent with loved ones.

Of spending money...

I drive only a small, white Kancil. And yet…the maintenance!! Granted, since I got my car back in 2008, I don’t think I’ve had it fully serviced. My dad is usually the one who takes my car for its “check-up”.

My drive shaft started making noises late last year. As I went to India last year and by the time I got back was already mid-December, the time just wasn’t right and also…I had no money!!

Anyway, fast forward to 2012 and I took it upon my own self to get my car fixed. If I wait for my dad to do something, I’ll never fix my car.

---

RM370. That is how much I spent to change my drive shafts. I didn’t even know there were TWO drive shafts! Sighs....a lot of money but well spent especially since it's for my safety while driving.

After that was done, the mechanic told me that I have to service my car and also change my front two tyres. Apparently, my front tyres are SO worn that they could explode while I'm driving!! Scary!!! One new tyre cost RM120 so that's RM240 I forked out! Sighs....

The servicing of the car cost RM100. Aiyoh!!!

Total spent on car: RM710!

Thankfully I received a cheque from A.Dot and the whole amount is going for the car, so that means, I hardly forked out my own money. I had wanted to spend the money from the cheque for my b'day but I suppose this is more important.

On another note…I spent another RM100 something on new clothes. Sunshine Farlim had a Labour Day sale and everything was on 70-80% off! Branded stuff too. And although I am not a shopping addict, I went slightly crazy. Sis and I bought stuff that cost nearly RM500. Thanks to all the discounts, we only paid RM100 something.

As much as I am happy that my car is now smoother and safer on the road, and I have brand new clothes, I’m also suffering from shock at the amount of money I’ve spent. I’ve asked mum and sis to not let me spend anymore money for the next six months. I really don't know how people can just spend, spend and spend. I keep thinking of how much is left in my bank and how much I have in hand etc.

Sighs....well....no regrets! :-)

Catching Up

Wow...another month has gone and from what I see, I've been "updating" my entries VERY often! Lol!

It's really not good to be procrastinating as now, I can't really remember what has happened over the past 30 days. Thankfully, I have my sister's blog to remind me. Haha!

So my sis and I decided to surprise Aunty Lita for her birthday by sending her a gift. We usually just SMS her the usual birthday greeting every year; but since she's retired as of March 1st, we decided to get her a new "uniform". Not like she ever wore a uniform. We bought her a 'kaftan', packed it in a 'Tau Sar Pneah' box and posted it to her in Singapore. We weren't sure if she would wear it but what the heck...it's the thought (and joke!) that counts! Lol! Turns out...she loved the surprise!! :-)

At the end of March, sis, Trish, Raghu and I attended the Penang World Music Festival, courtesy of Trish's boss who gave her free tickets!! Sis and I wanted to go for it but the price of the tickets were too expensive at RM90 per person per day. But I guess luck was on our side!

Then April rolled in. Nothing astonishing happened on April Fool's Day.

April 11th was a welcomed holiday as we "celebrated" our King's installation. The day turned out to be a scary one as Indonesia experienced an earthquake and we could feel the tremors!!! I even recorded my altar pictures swaying!!! SCARY!!!

Of course talk of the earthquake and the end of the world dominated the next few days. In fact, I'm beginning to fear that the Mayans may be right! :s

Receiving a cheque from the US from Aunty Dorathy was a nice surprise. Trish and I both got cheques for helping her with her house sale! :-)

I also finished reading The Temple! Now I feel a bit stupid reading those sappy love stories! I sooo want to buy the other Matthew Reilly books!

Then just last Sunday, Trish, my sis and I went to watch Hunger Games. It was a good movie. Great storyline although some scenes were a bit gory. Can't wait for the next two movies as the story is a trilogy.

Other than going out to music festivals and watching movies, I sort of got a second job. I suppose my writing and editing skills are coming to good use. Dad's friend who's handling a new property project decided to "hire" my sis and I to come up with the full write-up for the project, name the three towers and also come up with the PR plan. We're so new in this, I hope our first effort pays off!!

Also, Vay and I have been super busy on trying to get our special project done. This is what that's stressing me the most and making me lose my patience and temper. I'm up to the point where I can't even speak to the person involved!! It's that bad!

But I'm sure I'll get over it. I have to, no? :-)

Writing

Well...it's been more than a month since my last entry. Since then, Thaipusam have passed and so have my mum's and bro's birthdays.


I suddenly had the urge to write because recently, I chanced upon a shared article on FB - one that I wrote years back and had appeared in The Star. The shared article had over 1000 likes and it had been shared over 1000 times!! I simply could not believe it! Word around says that the article has been circulating for awhile. Being curious, I decided to Google the article and what do you know? It has been mentioned a few times here and there, and has even appeared on a Filipino blog!! My article!!

That one article garnered so many comments, so I decided to share the links to more of my articles (read: 3-4 more only). That's me being perasan. Of course, all my sweet friends and family 'liked' and praised me. :p

I've always liked writing but I find that I can only write about stuff that I know well. Simply give me a topic and it'll take me awhile to come up with something worth reading. I don't think I'm author-worthy because I know I am simply not THAT creative.

But so very recently, I did some-sort of editing work on a special someone's book. I didn't think my "editing" was good enough for it to be used in a soon-to-be-published book but what do you know? After engaging a bona fide editor, he told me that I'd gone a great job and that he has nothing major to change except maybe re-structure one or two sentences and check on my commas and full-stops. SERIOUSLY!!! I couldn't stop smiling and I still can't get my head around it. Perhaps I should look into this writing thing a bit more seriously.

Anyway...just a short update. Who knows? Maybe my next entry would have me shouting "I'm the next J.K. Rowling!" Lol!

You won't like me when I'm angry

I was away for 3 days last week, stuck in a resort that's up a "mountain" above 900 meters, for my organisation's yearly planning meeting. I was really reluctant to go on this trip as past experiences of having meetings that last more than 12 hrs kept haunting me. But I must admit, this year wasn't that bad. In fact, I had a good time. The very people whom I was reluctant to spend 3 days with, turned out to be fun; and the meetings actually ended early!! Gunung Jerai is as secluded as it can be. Not recommended for family holidays as there is really nothing to do up there. It'll probably suit honeymooners who intend to spend all their time indoors. :S

Anyway...my return back to Penang was not good. I returned on Friday night and even before the night was over, I was already in a bad mood. This mood continued to the next day and the next. People who know me, know that I am a very patient person. I rarely lose my temper and it takes quite a lot to make me lose my temper. But I guess there's a limit to accumulated and pent-up emotions, before it all blows up. I didn't blow up. But my voice level rose, my voice cracked and I had to take deep breaths to calm down. I'm hardly speaking to the person I'm angry at. It's better this way as any conversation we have is bound to end in a shouting match. It's so hard trying to be civil but I know I can do it. *breathe*

I hate it when I lose my temper. It's sooo not me. But like I said, there is a limit to my patience and sooner or later, I'm going to really blow. In fact, I honestly attribute my thinness to me keeping in my emotions. It's probably eating me inside.

Thank God I've got an outlet where I can just vent out. But then again, I prefer keeping most of it to myself. Why bother others?

I just hope this bad mood phase ends soon. I don't like what I'm feeling. I don't like what I project (ppl can actually tell when I am in a bad mood). I just don't like it all.

Sighs.