100 Days....
It is said that the 100th day marks the end of the mourning period. It symbolises a point where the deceased is believed to have fully transitioned, and the family moves from heavy mourning to final remembrance.
To me, the 100 days marks...
- days without seeing you/your smile
- days without hearing your voice/your laughter/your scolding
- days without receiving a text from you
- days without tasting your cooking
- days without irritating you
- days without YOU
My mourning ended the day of your interment. But my grief continued....
I honestly don't know when I'll be able to look at your photos because I really cannot do it. I also don't know when I'll stop having this heaviness on my chest, the constant hollow-ness inside, the neverending longing/yearning.
If 100 days feels like this, how will a year, 5 years and so forth feel? For those who have gone through this, they tell me that the pain does not go away. That it will always be there. But....it gets easier.
Easier how I don't know. People have told me to pray and ask for strength. But I still can't pray either.
100 days seems so long and yet, everything still feels fresh. Penning down my feelings helps ease my pain a tiny bit even though my thoughts are always the same, just expressed in different words.
This is something that I have to learn to live with it, make peace with, to accept it.
I miss you so damn much!
#100daysofmissingyou #imissyou #iloveyou #mimi
