Hmmmm

There's roughly less than 2 months to my birthday. That means, that's less than 2 months to me leaving my 20s and starting a whole new DECADE of my life!! 

When I was young, I thought that 21 was still a loooong way. Then 21 arrived. My cousin once told me that when the 20s came, it'll pass in a blink of an eye. Much to my chagrin, I have to agree with him. 21 came and went. And before I knew it, I was hitting the 1/4 of a century mark. I turned 25!!

Now, by the time I turned 25, I was beginning to enjoy being in my 20s (although if I read my old entries, it may not seem so). I even became excited as year after year passed, and I was heading towards the end of my 20s. Even when I hit 28, I was still excited. In fact, I was anticipating reaching the big THREE-O. I actully told people that I was looking forward to that part of my life. What was I thinking????

And now...as I sit less than two months away from my birthday, the day that ends my year of being in my 20s, I feel myself cringing.Whenever people ask me how old I am, instead of proudly announcing my age, I look at them and say.....Twenty-Nine-Plus-One. Yes...call me childish, but suddenly, there is fear of leaving my 20s and all that I have experienced and achieved. 

For now, I have decided that I will forever be 29 and just "plus one, plus two etc" every year during my birthday. I'm not sure what has brought on this "fear" or anxiety. Is it due to all the "talk" about being an old maid? Or the saying that the 20s are the best years of one's life especially for a woman? I don't know. 

What I do know is, I have started worrying. Worrying about not being able to do what I want; worrying about what if I don't ever get married (not that I'm desperate about this); worrying about my biological clock ticking (I'm still quite sure that I don't want kids); worrying about whether I'll be able to enjoy life as I want to. All these worrying and I'm still in my 20s!! 

Sighs.......I hope that these worries are temporary. That, once I breached the THREE-O mark, I'll start to embrace and accept that age is just a number and that it should not be an excuse for not being able to do things. 

I should come up with a bucket list of things to achieve before I end the next decade of my life; and perhaps then, I would not be saddled with so much anxiety. 

Hmmm...........

2013 in a *blink*

This year went by exceptionally fast for me for a number of reasons:

1) For the first 3 months of the year, I was not in the country. Yup…I took my first solo trip across the ocean, to another continent: EUROPE!!! To Berlin, Germany to be exact. For the first time in my life, I was in a foreign land all by myself. I had to be independent. I had to adapt. I had to survive. And I did!

2) After returning home from Berlin, a week later, I was off to Manila (also for the first time). I was only in Manila for a week, but it was enough to convince me that I wanted to go back. Definitely for more than a week the next time round. And for a holiday, not work!

3) Come April, plans and preparations for my organisation’s 3^rd Congress begun and lo and behold, I was put in charge. April to August were busy busy months of planning, planning, planning, preparing, preparing, preparing. Those months flew in a blink of an eye and soon, September approached (the month when the Congress happened) and that month flew too.

And now…as I sit at the computer writing my final entry for what has been an eventful year, I find myself trying hard to recollect what happened in the last 3 months. Nothing big, major or important happened; it was mostly catching up on emails and backlog but nevertheless, the months flew.

One day that I don’t think I will forget is my birthday coz it’s the day when I celebrated my last year of being in my 20s. As much as I am looking forward to welcoming a new number, a new decade of my life, I have my apprehensions. Am I missing out on the “normal” things? Hmmm…

Anyway…here’s to a better 2014!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Last Day

-Just found this in my drafts-

So today was my last day in Berlin. I had the morning off so after breakfast, I took a long walk - 1 hour to be precise, and non-stop. It was really cold today but the air was so crisp and fresh. I walked all the way to where I formerly lived earlier in the year. It was quite a walk but since it was the weekend, there were hardly any cars on the road and it was nice to be able to walk freely. 

It was nostalgic for me, walking down the same street I walked almost every day more than 7 months ago. I remember the bakery I went to every morning (I could not resist getting a hot chocolate), the second hand shop I bought a handbag from, and the cafe I frequented after work each day. I then decided to visit my former housemate since I was already in the neighbourhood. Although I had emailed her before I came to Berlin, and once again emailed her a few days ago, there was no reply from her. So I took a chance and went to her apartment. Unfortunately she was not in.

After that, I decided to go to the Turkish market but once again, it was unfortunate for me that it was not open yet. After all, it was only 10am, and if I'm not mistaken, the market opens at 11am.

After the disappointment of not getting to meet my former housemate and visiting the market, I took the long walk back to my hotel. By then, my hands were frozen and all I could think about was to get out of the cold. 

I met Qiao Qiao for lunch at around a quarter past noon, after which we proceeded to attend the workshop organised by several of the alumni members. That lasted until 6pm. We all then headed back to the office for the Annual Party.

I wore a Punjabi suit and got positive comments, I'm happy to say. Photo opportunities were rare but I did get to take a couple of pictures. There were in fact more men at the party than women but unfortunately, there were only two that were easy on the eyes. One was taken (a colleague's bf) and the other is an alumni. He was in my Working Group yesterday but despite) that, we did not get to talk much (he's the one behind me in the group picture). :-)

The lack of picture opportunities is not an excuse but most of the time, most of us got caught up in a conversation and before we knew it, we were off to another group or subject and the thought of taking photos just vanished.

Overall, I am really glad that I made this trip despite the long travel hours and short stay. I would not have liked missing this event. I'm not sure how many more years I'll be funded to attend thee kind of events, but you can be sure that I'll jump at the chance just to return to Berlin! I really enjoyed being bakck in Berlin and meeting the friends that I made while I was here. It also gave me the inspiration to do well in my work after seeing how passionate most of the people here are. Like I said in my previous entry, although at times I really felt that I lack the knowledge or experience to be able to mingle in such groups, I'm blessed to be accepted by them and I hope that I have in some way contributed to their knowledge and understanding of issues. 

The days are getting colder and I hope that the next Alumni meeting would be during a more favorable weather! 

Alumni Conference 2013

I got up this morning and the first thing I did was smell the jacket and clothes that I wore yesterday. Since I could not stand the smell of smoke that was stuck on my clothes and jacket, last night I proceeded to spray perfume and then used the hair dryer to blow hot hair all over my clothes. At that point, I was desperate enough to try out anything, even if it did not make any sense. But surprisingly, when I went to smell my jacket and clothes, the smoke smell was GONE! Lol! 

Anyway, today was the reason why I made the long trip from Malaysia: the Alumni Conference. I was told that around 30 people would be attending but there were more. And to my pleasant surprise, the majority of the people were of my generation or even younger!! Back in my organisation, most of our partners are of the older generation, so any meetings or conferences or workshops would see me as one of the youngest. It was a pleasant change this time round. 

At first it was a bit awkward for me as everybody seemed to know everyone; but once the ice was broken, we could all mingle like we were old friends. I don't think I met every single person but the group of people I was with were a nice bunch. Unfortunately (or not), there were no cute guys! LOL! 

As this was an Alumni Conference, the participants were of course former interns or volunteers or trainees that had been with ECCHR at some point or another. Interestingly or rather intimidating-ly, whoever I spoke to either had a Masters or double Masters Degree, or were in the process of doing their PhD. At times I actually felt like I somehow lacked the "experience" or qualification to be in the group. But then, I told myself that instead of a Masters or Phd, I have 6 years of on the ground work experience that they may not have. So in a way, we're equals; and in another way, we're not. Get what I mean?

The day was long in that there were 3 sessions; after which we had a small reception, then had a good buffet dinner. I finally met Qiao Qiao, the 3rd Global Exchanger, whom I've only communicated with so far. 4 of the 5 Global Exchangers are here in Berlin. 

The official Alumni Conference is over. But there is a 4-hour workshop tomorrow organised by some of the Alumni. This is outside of the Conference and only a small group is expected. Later that night, it's the Annual Office Party, where around 200 people are expected, so that's going to be BIG! 

After today, my trip seems so quick. I can't believe that I will be leaving the day after tomorrow, returning to the same routine once again. I have not taken much photos this trip, though I hope to take a few tomorrow. 

Smoke!!

Smoke! Smoke! Smoke! That is all that I smell now as I sit on my bed typing this entry. I just got back from a round of drinks at Porx - the famous hangout place of the ECCHR staff. Although I was only there for about 2 hours, my laptop bag, jacket, sweater, top, jeans, underwear and whole body reek of smoke!

The worst thing is, I have no laundry facility, which means, I'll have to wear my smoke-filled jacket for the next 2 days!!! Oh God!! I've sprayed perfume on ALL the clothes that I wore, including my laptop bag! I took a shower and washed my hair twice - I hope I got the smell out.

Anyway, now that I've ranted, let me go back to the start of the day. So I slept REAL early last night - 8pm - that's as "late" asI could stay awake. I was up at 3am, 4am and 5am. Finally, I decided to get out of bed at about 7ish, took a bathe and then went to have breakfast.

I went to the office around 1030am and went out with Carolijn to catch up on things. After that, I had another round of coffee with Sankar, the lawyer from India who is the current Exchange Fellow. We were joined by Carolijn and Isidore, an intern from Cameroon.

After lunch, we had a very productive meeting on pesticides litigation which lasted until nearly 7pm. We all then adjourned to Porx, where my predicament occurred.

Tomorrow is the Alumni Conference which will last the entire morning and afternoon; after which there will be a buffet dinner.

I really hope my spraying of the perfume works, else I'll choke to death with the smoke smell. 

I'm back.....in Berlin!

So...after 7 months, I'm back in Berlin! As in my previous entry, who would have thought that I'd be in Europe twice this year?

Anyway, my travel did not start well at all. My 9.45pm flight from PG to KL was delayed to 10pm. Then it got delayed to 10.30pm. During the wait, I made a friend from Shanghai, Grace who was on her way back after a 3 day work trip. I somehow must have looked like I know everything coz a well dressed lady who was on her way to Dubai came and asked me why the delay! After waiting for 45 minutes while worrying about my connecting flight, MAS decided to combine 2 delayed flights and we were all flown to KLIA on an AirBus plane!

As the plane was taking off, I was almost certain that I was going to miss my connecting flight. Upon landing, there were a few people from the delay crew waiting for some of us, me included. We were all bundled up into a buggy and were F1-ed to the immigration. After passing the immigration, I was escorted, running to my departure gate. I boarded my 11.45pm flight at 11.40pm. Of course, I was the last one to board.

Luckily, on my row, there were only 2 of us - me occupying the window seat and a guy in the aisle seat. Right after take off though, he decided to move seats and for the whole 12 hours, I had 3 seats to myself! I stretched myself and slept for almost 9 hours. My aim of watching at least one movie did not work out. Maybe on the way back.

This time when I landed in Amsterdam, I could take my time as I had a two hour transit. I decided to track my luggage as I was told back in KL that my luggage may not reach on time as they did not have the time to search for my bag and put it on the plane. A check with the KLM ground staff told me that my bag was not in the system. I braced myself for the inevitable and decided that I'll just have to accept it and get new clothes, toiletries etc. I was still hoping for a miracle though.

Upon reaching Berlin, I decided to wait at the luggage carousel and see if the miracle happened. Guess what? It did!! After about 5 luggages let through, I saw a bag that's familiar and my heart jumped. I looked properly and WOOHOO...it was my bag!!! I grabbed it and headed out of the airport with renewed energy.

I took a taxi to the hotel. The driver was an African migrant who has been in Germany for more than 30 years. He thought I was 25!! Haha! Passing through all the familiar landmarks, it was such a nice feeling knowing that I've seen that or been there. We even passed a placed where there were people preparing for the Xmas market. Unfortunately, it will only open in two weeks' time.

Once I reached the hotel, I rested while watching TV, then had a bath and then headed to the office to say hello. Not many people were there so I left and went to get a hot chocolate (back to that again!) and some food.

I don't think I'll go anywhere else today as my body feels sluggish. But tomorrow onwards, it'll be busy and I know then that my time will FLY!!

It's going to be hard to say goodbye to Berlin again! 

Who Would Have Thought?

Who would have thought that before I left my 20s, I would have left my carbon footprint half way around the world? My sister and I used to talk about our travels, joking that we're "destined" to travel only to the north (Thailand) and south (Singapore) of Malaysia. Since dad used to travel for work, we'd visit him wherever he was during our holidays.

Anyway, fast forward a decade or two later, and I finally breached the "north-south" barrier and stepped into India. And I went to India twice!! 

Then this year, just a year before I say goodbye to another decade of my life, I stepped into Germany. Yes...this time it was another CONTINENT!! You can call me "ulu" but what the heck! 2 months in Germany and then it was off to Manila for a week! 

And now...I'M GOING BACK TO GERMANY!! As I mentioned in one of my previous entries that I MAY return to Germany in November, everything is confirmed and I've got my ticket. All in less than a year. 

To say that I'm excited would be an understatement. I'm excited not only because I get to meet my wonderful German colleagues whom I left behind, but also because this time, it'll be autumn and I have already been told that the scenery is beautiful this time of the year. 

I leave in about 12 days' time and it's time to get packing. I've already got my lists written up thanks to the slight OCD in me. But there are plenty more to do. I need to check if my sneakers are in travel condition. I need to change some money into Euros(!!). I need to buy toiletries. The list goes on...

While there is excitement, there is also a little sadness. I just feel bad, "bragging" about my travels when my family can't follow me. As I've previously mentioned, my sis and I have decided to start a travel fund for our travels each year but so far, this has not been going well. 

We wanted to go to the Philippines this year but it did not work out. So we said we'd go to KL during the Deepavali break but that too is not going to happen. Perhaps at the end of December. Who knows? 

All I know is, I am blessed to be given the opportunity to travel to these places - all paid for with nothing much to worry about. And in return, I work hard and try and provide the best for my family.