The only certainty in life

The only certainty in life is DEATH. We know we are all headed that way. It's not a matter of IF but a matter of WHEN and HOW. Though some may say that the HOW is not important considering the fact that we are all going to die anyway; to me, the HOW is important. Especially since it'll create a big impact on my family and friends. Yes...I am not afraid to admit that I do not want to suffer before I die. I pray that I will not be condemned with any illnesses, or get my life snatched away in a freak accident. Nevertheless, that is personal. What I am more concerned about is how my death will affect my love ones.

If I were to have a terminal illness, I would not be the only one suffering. If I were to die in a freak accident, the people I leave behind will be the ones suffering. To me, that is the last thing I would want my love ones to endure. Suffering and pain because of me.

I know many will be wondering what's gotten into me? Why am I talking about death all of a sudden? Well, my grand-uncle passed away suddenly on Wednesday. He had a fall about two weeks back, was admitted to the hospital and didn't return alive. This is the 3rd death (on my father's side) since 2002. First was my grandfather, then my uncle in 2007 and now my grand-uncle. All 3 men died in the hospital. All from an illness. So is it any wonder why I fear going the same way?

But I digress. I witnessed my grand-aunt's heart breaking. As she sat next to her husband's coffin, talking to him; as she watched her wedding saree (of more than 40 years) cover his coffin; and as she said her final goodbye as the hearse drove away, I could only imagine what was going through her mind. The lost she felt. The impending loneliness awaiting. While she has all of us around her, it is not the same. While we may provide the comfort and support she needs, losing someone like your husband is major. I pray only the best for her.

Everyone was sad that he had died. But I think what hurt the most was seeing my grand-aunt. She'd already lost weight, having stayed by his bedside everyday,not eating nor resting properly. And to watch him suffer in those final hours, it's a wonder she's still sober and awake.

My point is this: Death is certain. That bars any argument. And, since we can't do anything about death, we CAN do something to parallel the heartbreak it causes. MEMORIES. Create, live and remember good times and bad. When death occurs, one of the things that helps a person cope is memories. At the funeral yesterday, despite the tears and solemn-ness around, we joked and reminisce about the things my grand-uncle used to say or do. And believe it or not, amid the sniffs and tears, there were also smiles and laughter.

And so, you see, despite him leaving abruptly and unexpectedly, the memories he left did, in some way alleviate some of the pain he caused. He was a good man. A loving father, a dedicated husband, a wonderful person.

That is how I want to be remembered. And I hope that, when my time comes, laughter will take precedence over tears and anguish, for I hope, I have and will leave worthy memories for my love ones.