Dilemma

The day that I've been waiting for, for the past two years is finally about to arrive. Two years of waiting and harassing people; and finally, it's about to happen. Though the excitement has long been diminished, the feeling once again re-surfaced when I got the call. Excitement, anticipation, relief.

But wait... all that vanished just as soon as it returned; two years is indeed a looong time to wait for something so significant. However, the significance soon died down, when people moved on and achieved greater things; things far more important than a graduation gathering.

I never had and never will have a graduation ceremony where I would gather in a hall with my classmates, walk on stage to receive my scroll when my name is called and take endless pictures, all this being witnessed by my family. That day has long gone. The "day" that is to arrive is actually of a gathering of graduates from the past two years; a "formality" gathering that the college is organising to 'acknowledge' that we have indeed graduated. It'll be a lunch affair, complete with us (or whoever's going) wearing the robe and mortar board.

The sad thing is (to which my dilemma stems from), my friends do not want to attend this function. It's been too long and some of them are already certified lawyers who have recently just been called to the Bar. No point in going back in time just to have this "graduation", they say. I agree with them. But at the same time, I'm thinking, I'm never going to be a lawyer. I'm never going to be called to the Bar, so I'll never have that "achievement"/"closure" that marks an end of a person's education route.

Hence my dilemma....do I attend the gathering knowing none of my friends will be there? Do I attend the gathering for the sake of wearing the robe and mortar board and having small talk with my ex-lecturers? Do I snub the gathering; the gathering which I have fought so hard for this past two years? After all, it'll be weird (and wrong, in my opinion) to not go after harassing the college to have one.

My rationale is this: What's the point of going to the gathering where you'll be the lone person from your batch? I'll still rent the gown and go for the studio photo session with my family (this I will not miss!!). But do I go for the gathering?