Sighs....

I’m writing about this because I feel that I’ve endured it for far too long and no matter how many times I tell myself that I should not let it bother me, I always get affected anyway. I get irritated; I get annoyed; I become bitter. And I hate it when that happens.

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I’m the type of person who likes to stay home. I read, watch TV, listen to music or sleep. I go out occasionally, when I feel like it and when the time is right. I like having a routine. I don’t have that incessant need or feeling of always wanting or having to go out. I’m not a social bee or butterfly or whatever. Being a homebody doesn’t bother me. I’m comfortable staying at home and having what some people would call, “a boring” life. Yes…there are times when I myself feel that my life is mundane and that everyone around me has a much more fun life, especially since I’m still young. But that feeling comes and then subsides like the waves in the ocean. If I want a change, then it’s up to me to do something about it.

This ‘complain’ entry has been long coming. I’m not sure if I have a similar entry written years ago coz I can’t remember (though I won’t be surprised if there is one). So…like I said above, I’m the kind of person who likes to stay home; and anyone who knows me, knows that. And because of this, I’ve gotten so much of crap comments about me being old, not fun, uncool etc. Some even say that I won’t meet anyone i.e. bf, husband etc if I continue this way.

I’m apparently older than my parents; so much so that people say I behave like I’m the parent and my parents are the children. Now…I’m blessed with having superb parents, who are not only open about everything, they are also fun, young (for their age), hip and they get along with anyone of any age. If anything, they are the best parents anyone could ask for. They are welcoming and people just flock to them like how bees flock to honey. Can I help it if I am different from them?

I don’t know if it is insecurity or jealousy or that I just have a warped mind, but there are times when I actually think twice about introducing my friends (the few of them that I have) to my parents. I know…sounds sick right? While I love the fact that my parents are so accepting and accommodating, and that my friends click with them so well, I tend to feel that after awhile, my friends tend to prefer my parents. After all, I’m the “old” one, no? The one who always says no and is as controlling and uncool as an 80-year old spinster. Even my own mum says I'm old and boring and have no life. Sighs. I’m always told that my parents are cool and that people are jealous coz I’m so lucky my parents are not like parents. Yes…my parents are great. Thank God!

What I don’t understand, is why people just can’t seem to understand and/or accept that I (and my sis to an extent) am a homebody. We are different from our parents. Just because they made us, doesn’t mean we are their clones. So I don’t go out so often. So what if (back in high school), the few times that I actually went out with my friends, we went to the State museum? It’s not coz we’re boring or nerds, but one friend in the group had not been to the museum and had wanted to go. I didn’t know we had to go clubbing or do the “normal-typical” stuff that teens do.

I know I turn down many invitations to go out and that me accepting one is rare. I don’t mind the many invitations (at least I know I am remembered and that people actually want me around) but what I really hate are the remarks. My parents always encourage me to go out; in fact, I don’t think they’ve ever said no to me whenever I wanted to go out. So, permission is definitely not a problem. Finance is an issue coz how can you go out and NOT spend? Yes…I admit that I rarely go out as I prefer to save whatever little $$ that I can. After all, emergencies have cropped up and these little savings are the saviours. And...I'm not complaining about this mind you.

All I am saying, or at least trying to say is this: do not compare me to my parents. They are from a whole different generation. Yes…they are the more fun, upbeat, cool type. I am not. We don't even have that much in common when it comes to having fun. Maybe that's why my friends like them more. Hmm...I sometimes wish that I was (and try to be) like them. Easy to talk to, friendly, approachable. But alas, I have my own personality.

Sighs…reading back what I have written above, it sounds as though I need to be lying down on a sofa, next to a shrink. :s I sound like an imaginative, childish, lunatic who has been cooped up in the house for too long. Maybe I do have a problem and I’m not seeing it!

Geez…do I still post this up now? I guess so.

[Disclaimer: This entry does not point to one person but to the public as a whole.]