You won't like me when I'm angry

I was away for 3 days last week, stuck in a resort that's up a "mountain" above 900 meters, for my organisation's yearly planning meeting. I was really reluctant to go on this trip as past experiences of having meetings that last more than 12 hrs kept haunting me. But I must admit, this year wasn't that bad. In fact, I had a good time. The very people whom I was reluctant to spend 3 days with, turned out to be fun; and the meetings actually ended early!! Gunung Jerai is as secluded as it can be. Not recommended for family holidays as there is really nothing to do up there. It'll probably suit honeymooners who intend to spend all their time indoors. :S

Anyway...my return back to Penang was not good. I returned on Friday night and even before the night was over, I was already in a bad mood. This mood continued to the next day and the next. People who know me, know that I am a very patient person. I rarely lose my temper and it takes quite a lot to make me lose my temper. But I guess there's a limit to accumulated and pent-up emotions, before it all blows up. I didn't blow up. But my voice level rose, my voice cracked and I had to take deep breaths to calm down. I'm hardly speaking to the person I'm angry at. It's better this way as any conversation we have is bound to end in a shouting match. It's so hard trying to be civil but I know I can do it. *breathe*

I hate it when I lose my temper. It's sooo not me. But like I said, there is a limit to my patience and sooner or later, I'm going to really blow. In fact, I honestly attribute my thinness to me keeping in my emotions. It's probably eating me inside.

Thank God I've got an outlet where I can just vent out. But then again, I prefer keeping most of it to myself. Why bother others?

I just hope this bad mood phase ends soon. I don't like what I'm feeling. I don't like what I project (ppl can actually tell when I am in a bad mood). I just don't like it all.

Sighs.