When

When bad things happen or when tragedy strikes, the first question that comes to mind is WHY. Why did this happen? Why did this happen to me? Why did it not happen to someone else? Why?

Ever since I started working almost 5 years ago, and from the experiences that I have had to go through the past few years, I have had some of my own WHYs. Why does it seem easier for other people? Why can't my life be like that? Why am I in this situation?

But of late, I'm beginning to ask a different question. WHEN? When will all this end? When will I finally be able to breathe a sigh of relief? When will I be able to stop worrying? Just WHEN.

Rather than dwell on the WHYs, I guess it's good that I'm now at WHEN. Maybe I've overcome my self-pity (why me why me why me) and it's a signal that it's time I started looking forward. Looking for answers that I hope are there. Somewhere.

Right now, I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. A few months ago, I thought I did. But I guess what I saw was just a hallucination. A dream that I thought was achievable soon. I had hope to achieve something by the time I turned 25, but nothing spectacular happened. Now, being two years away from being 30, I'm still waiting or rather hoping for a miracle to happen. Unfortunately, it's not something that I can do alone. And...I'm not talking about getting married. That's like the furthest thing on my mind.

The WHERE is here. I'm at peace with the WHY. It is the WHO, who needs to wake up and solve the WHAT. 

All I need is...The WHEN....